The Beatles In Wonderland

The Caterpillar

Colorful smoke flies over the Beatles' heads, and a voice singing rings out.

A-E-I-O-U
A-E-I-O-U
A-E-I-O-U

O

U-O-I-E-A
U-I-E-A
A-E-I-O-U

The singing was coming from a caterpillar smoking different shapes and letters. He notices the Beatles.

"Who are you?" Asked the Caterpillar. "We hardly know, sir! We've changed so many times since this morning, you see..." Said George. "I do not see. Explain yourselves." The Caterpillar said. "Why, I'm afraid we can't explain ourselves, sir. Because we're not ourselves, you know..." Said Paul. "I do not know." Said the Caterpillar. "Well, we can't put it any more clearly for it isn't clear to us!" Said Ringo. "You? Who are you?" The Caterpillar asked again. "Well, don't you think you ought to tell us who you are first?" Asked John. "Why?" Asked the Caterpillar.

"Oh dear. Everything is so confusing." Paul said with a sigh. "It is not." The Caterpillar said. "Well, it is to us." John said. "Why?" Asked the Caterpillar. "Well, we can't remember things as we used to, and..." George began. "Recite." The Caterpillar said. "Hmm? Oh! Oh, oh, yes, sir! George, will you do the honors?" Ringo asked.

George chuckles. "I'd be glad to. Um... how doth the little busy bee, improve each shi..." He began. "Stop! That is not spoken correcitically. It goes... how..." Said the Caterpillar. He pauses, only to notice his other hands were grabbing his smoker. He slaps his hands. Paul stifles a giggle.

The Caterpillar clears his throat and recites.

How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale

How cheer... how cheer...

Once again, he pauses. His lower half was dangling from the leaf he was sitting on. Gruffly, the Caterpillar puts his lower body back on his seat.

The Beatles laugh, but stop after the Caterpillar gives them a stern look. He continues.

How cheerfully he seems to grin
How neatly he spreads his claws
And welcomes little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws

"Well I must say we've never heard it that way before." Said Ringo. "I know, I have improved it." The Caterpillar said. "Well, if you ask me..." Said George. "You? Huh, who are you?" Asked the Caterpillar. The smoke from his mouth goes into the Beatles' faces. They cough a few times and sneeze before storming off. "You there! Men! Wait! Come back! I have something important to say!" The Caterpillar called.

"Oh dear, I wonder what he wants now." Said John. The Beatles walk back to the Caterpillar with stern expressions on their faces. "Well?" Asked Paul. "Keep your temper!" Said the Caterpillar. "Is that all?" Ringo asked. "No. Exacitically, what is your problem?" The Caterpillar asked. "Well, it's exacitici... exaciti... well, it's precisely this... We'd like to be a little larger, sir." John said. "Why?" Asked the Caterpillar. "After all, three inches is such a wretched height, and..." George began."

Those words angered the Caterpillar. "I am exacitically three inches high, and it is a very good height indeed!" He yelled. "But we're not used to it. And you needn't shout!" Yelled Ringo. It looked as if the Caterpillar disappeared. "Oh dear." Said George.

"By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow taller." The Caterpillar, who turned into a butterfly, said. "One side of what?" Asked Paul. "And the other side will make you grow shorter." Said the butterfly. "The other side of what?" Asked John. "THE MUSHROOM, OF COURSE!!!!!!" The butterfly yelled angrily before flying off.