The Beatles In Wonderland

The Trial

The White Rabbit toots his horn as the trial starts. "Huh... Your Majesty... members of the jury... loyal subjects..." He began. "Ahem!" Said the king. "And the king. The prisoners at the bar are charged with enticing her majesty, the Queen of Hearts, into a game of croquet, and thereby willfully...and with malice aforethought, teasing, tormenting, and otherwise annoying our beloved..." Said the White Rabbit. "Never mind all that! Get to the part where I lose my temper." Said the queen. "Thereby causing the queen to lose her temper." The White Rabbit said.

George groans. "This is ridiculous! Why do we have to face the consequences if John's the only one who played croquet?!" He asked in an annoyed tone. "Because she thinks we played a prank on her!" Said Ringo. "Now, are you ready for your sentences?" The queen asked. "Sentence? But there must be a verdict first!" Said John. "Sentence first! Verdict afterwards." Said the queen. "But that just isn't the way!" Said Paul.

"All ways are..." The queen began while banging on the desk. "Your ways, Your Majesty." Ringo said. "Yes, good sir. Off with their..." Said the queen. "Consider, my dear. Uh... we called no witnesses... Uh... couldn't we hear... maybe one or two? Ha? Maybe?" Asked the king. "Oh, very well. BUT GET ON WITH IT!!!" The queen yelled. "First witness! First witness! Ah, we'll call the first witness." The king said.

"The March Hare!" Said the White Rabbit. The March Hare walks up. "What do you know about this uh... unfortunate affair?" Asked the king. "Nothing." Said the March Hare. "Nothing whatever?" Asked the queen. "Nothing whatever!!!" The March Hare yelled in the queen's face. "That's very important! Jury, write that down!" The queen said. The jury writes down their words. "Unimportant... Your Majesty means of course." George said. "SILENCE!!! Next witness." Said the queen.

"The Dormouse!" The White Rabbit said. The royal cardsmen bring up a teapot. "Well..." The queen began. The cards shush her. "What have you to say about this?" Asked the queen through a whisper.

All the Dormouse does is recite what he said at the mad tea party.

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat. How I wonder...

"That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet. WRITE THAT DOWN!!!" The queen said. "Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle..." Said the jury. "Twinkle, twinkle. What next?" Paul asked in an annoyed tone.

"The Mad Hatter!" Said the White Rabbit. The Mad Hatter comes over. "OFF WITH YOUR HAT!!!!!!" Yelled the queen. "Oh my!" Said the Mad Hatter. "And eh... where were you when this horrible crime was committed?" The king asked. "I was home, drinking tea. Today you know is my unbirthday." The Mad Hatter said.

The king smiles. "Why, my dear! Today is your unbirthday too!" He said. "It is?" The queen asked with a smile. "It is?" The Mad Hatter and March Hare ask at the same time. "It is?" Asked the cards.

Everyone, except the Beatles, sing for the queen.

All: A very merry unbirthday!

Queen: To me?

Beatles: Oh no!

All: To you! A very merry unbirthday!

Queen: For me?

All: For you!

Mad Hatter: Now blow the candle out, my dear and make your wish come true!

The queen blows out the candles, and the cake explodes into a present.

All: A very merry unbirthday, to you!