Relapse Like Hell

Hits Ya Hard

POV: Vance Hopper TW: wanting to relapse on ED and SH. Relapse on drugs.

The urge to relapse is impossible to ignore, but for the past almost five months I've pushed though. But tonight while I lay in my messy bed covers pulled up to my chin the urge is unbelievable, its all I can think of. It takes all the strength in me to sit up and reach over to grab my packet of cigarettes and lighter. The boys don't know I started smoking again but its not an addiction so I don't know why they worry.

My dads out of town with his friends, probably getting drunk or high as I just sit while lighting the cigarette, deep in fought as I consider chucking five months down the drain, and steeling my dads drugs in his room. I don't know what kind of drugs he has in there all I know is that they'll get him locked up by the police if they found them. He probably doesn't even remember putting them there or owning them.

I inhale the smoke in my lungs as I pull myself out of bed, asking myself if I should do this, 'its just one more time' I tell myself and in head. I'm almost sure of it.

I stop walking, reach up and grab the cigarette out from between my lips. "I should call Robin" I whisper to no one but myself. "No I cant, I cant just lay this on him."

'Just one more time', I continue my way to my dads room and ignore the messiness as I only have one thing on my mind. Drugs. At this point I don't even care about the fucking five months, all I care about is where he put them goddam drugs. I chuck his dirty cloths off his bed and rummage through his pockets. "Where the fuck did he put them" I rage getting pissed off. I run over to his draws next to his bed and go though them, most of them are filled with useless shit, in till.

The last draw. I don't even know what half of these drugs are all I know is that there drugs. I take a bag filled with white powder and take no time in running back to my room leaving the cigarette bud (that was no longer hot) on top of his draws.

I pick up an old book that Finney said would distract me and sit on my bed, laying it on my thighs. I pour a little bit of the dust on the book and use my scared finger to make a shitty line. And without thinking twice I pull my hair into a bun and lean down, blocking one nostril with my finger and snorting up whatever was I that was straight to my brain.

Drugs don't work that quick so with my shaking hand I make another two lines and repeat the same process.

I chuck the book on the ground and start shaking. Did I really just do that? I did, shit. What will Robin and Finney think. They'll be disappointed , I cant tell them. After a few minutes the drugs start to hit and I feel euphoric. I don't even care that I relapsed anymore. In fact I don't care what anyone thinks.

I basically dance out of my room grabbing my worn down converses on my way. I wanna do something, I feel like I need to run , so I do. After putting on my converses I walk out of the house not even bothering to lock the door, then I run. I run because I finally feel alive. The most alive I've felt in ages. When I run out of breath I look around and all I can see is a park. I slowly walk to the swings and sit down nearly falling off but I catch myself when I put my feet on the wood chipped floor.

I reach into my pocket and feel the same packet of cigarettes and lighter that I don't remember putting there. I pull one out before putting the packet away, I put the cigarette in between my lips and pull the lighter up to light it flicking it in till fire escapes before going out again due to the wind, I try again, this time covering the fire with my hand. After successfully lighting the cigarette I put the lighter back in my pocked. I just sit there for a while in till I see the police turn the corner and have a mini heart attack. "Fuck"

"HOPPER" one of them yells.

I jump off the swings and run. "We've got a runner!" he yells to the other cop as they both chase me we run into a alleyway that seems kinds small, but that's the least of my problems. 'why are they chasing me?' I rapidly think to myself. I can here there footsteps behind me and even I'm surprised that I'm out running these fuckers while high off my mind. I see a tall brick wall and jump up, my palms barley reaching the edge. I pull myself up and roll over the wall falling to the ground, but instead of reaching the ground I fall straight in to a glass table. There are people in the back yard, I pull myself up, my back and ribs hurting like a bitch but I cant stop running. The whole party is gasping and staring at me as I run limp over to the over side of there yard. At this point my hair is all out and the hair tie is long lost. I once again jump up and jump the fence but know one of the police officers are jumping the wall still chasing after me.

My eyes widen but I don't stop running. Fuck I feel alive right now, I almost smile being reminded of my old self, this was a once a week thing.

I run through another yard. A empty one at that, and jump the smaller fence this time, its not that much smaller, just be a couple inches but Its still not so easily jump due to the fall I took about forty seconds ago. Over the fence I just jumped is a dark road, none of the street lights working. 'Perfect' I run down the street as fast as I can go and hide behind a dumpster. I here puffing and panting but I dare not look.

"Fuck" one of them says.

"Come on, we've probably got more troublesome teenagers around at the car."

I here the footsteps slowly disappear and, then there completely gone.

I sit on the ground behind the dumpster still catching my breath. I realize what I've done and smile to myself. "I'm back" I whisper to a cat that had appeared. I remembered the first time I saw this cat, It was a very similar situation to the one that just happened. The cat meow's and quickly steps close to me, I pat her.

Its probably been I few hours since I snorted what ever was in that bag and I can feel it rubbing off so I decide to pay a quick trip to an old friend.

I just got some cocaine from Barry, but god does it work. I snorted some lines on his porch before making my way home.

HOPE YOU ENJOINED:)1243 WORDS.