For Lovers Only - [A Zarry Stylik]©️

XXXVI- TO TRUST, BELIEVE AND LET GO

H,

I watched Louis and Zayn speak on the balcony, having a cigarette and laughing. It was a weird deja vu; the last time I was sitting here and looking at the balcony, I was watching Liam and Zayn having a romantic moment.

It was one of the most difficult moments in my life. Now, the two best friends were speaking casually and I was watching them. I was glad they had returned to being friends, catching up on everything that had happened all those months when they did not speak.

However, there was a slow storm burning inside of me. I appreciated how Zayn smiled once again with true intention. He was happy, relaxed and mine. Nothing clouded his judgement, he wasn't alert or closed off. He was as he had always been with me: open and true.

Our days together proved that. We had gone back in time, being too young adults completely in love and with the world ahead of us. That moment, when he relaxed into me after the conversation ended with Liam was the closing of a chapter between them and the opening of a new book with me.

It could almost be perfect if it wasn't for Liam's shadow still hovering over us in some capacity. I watched carefully as the divorce rolled along, with Zayn complying here or there with whatever Liam refused to budge. In the back of his mind, I knew it bothered him; It was inevitable and a necessary pain to have.

Once both parties agreed, after a lot of back and forth, now it was time to set the date for the first hearing. It seemed I was more nervous than Zayn. He seemed relieved; anxious to get it done.

The thought of Liam telling our story to the four winds made me uneasy. It was like a shadow I couldn't get rid of. I knew he wasn't just going to let Zayn go for the sake of it. Even if Zayn didn't go back to him, I feared he would make sure there was damage on some level. I was already jumpy with the idea that Liam was going to be at the fundraiser, and with the prospect of the three of us meeting, now I was even more uneasy.

I got up from the table, leaving Niall, Amelia and Eleanor to their conversation. I walked to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. My mouth was dry and I was unconsciously biting the inside of my lips. Was any of this ever going to be over? Would Zayn and I ever find true happiness without all this happiness?

Was our happiness even here?

"Hey, duckie..." Eleanor's voice brought me back to reality. My friend leaned against the sink standing next to me; I felt her hand on my back, stroking me gently. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," I lied looking at the sink under me. The faucet leaked small drops onto the metal. "I'm okay..."

"I shouldn't have said a thing."

"It's okay-"

"No, no...I don't want to stress you." Eleanor responded with a sigh. "You looked so happy. But I felt like you needed to know what was going on, so you wouldn't be caught by surprise."

"No, no..." I responded with a heaviness coming onto my shoulders. "I get it. You're just being a friend."

I looked at Eleanor who smiled at me with kindness. I turned, leaning against the sink next to her. From where we were standing, we could see Louis and Zayn on the balcony talking. Niall and Amelia were still at the table trading kisses and love.

Louis laughed again loudly, tossing his head back, while Zayn continued to tell a story.

"I love seeing him like that," My friend commented. I saw the loving look in her eyes towards Louis. I admired her strength and resolve to stick by him through it all. "It hurt him not being able to speak to Zayn. I had to listen to all the corny jokes and stories from the pub - I nearly killed him in his sleep."