Fly over the sea

- Chapter 10 -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Kerem~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been almost a week since I came back to reality. I have been resting at home, with my family.

The reception was brutal. I've done some interviews, but I'm not ready to go back to work yet.

I have talked a lot with Hande. After a few days at home with my parents, I decided to go to Fadi and Melis' new house for a couple of days. Yes, they bought a house here in Turkey.

I think I need some fresh air. My family doesn't object to anything, but it's true that my mother twists her face when I tell her I'm leaving. Finally, I manage to convince her that nothing is going to happen to me and that I have to go back to my normal life... and my normal life is not being at home 24 hours a day. Partly I think I run away, I run away from reality, and I need to talk to Fadi about what is happening to me, even though we have not seen each other for the last few years that he has been living with my sister in Canada, Fadi is one of my best friends, and I know I can trust him.

Every night I wake up looking for Hande next to me. I feel like I'm missing something, but we haven't talked about it on the phone. We talk a lot, but the subject of that night on the beach is not brought up and every day that goes by I feel like I'm going to end up distancing myself from her or she distancing herself from me. And I’m scared of that.

In my sister’s house, Theo plays with Hector while Fadi and I have a beer. Night is starting to fall. Melis is away, she is meeting some friends she wants to get back in touch with since she has moved back here. I think it's the perfect time to bring up the conversation and listen to Fadi's advice, but I don't quite know how to do it.

"Man, are you going to tell me what the fuck is wrong with you?”

"I don't sleep too well," I confess.

"It's normal dude, but that's temporary, don't worry," he says, downplaying the importance.

"Do you think you can fall in love with someone in a few days?" I say without thinking. Fadi's gaze turns to me like a spring. The gesture of surprise is evident. "I mean..." I continue speaking without knowing very well what to say, "I don't mean fall in love, I mean... I don't know...".

"Wait, I'm lost, who are we talking about?” I lower my head, "Wait!" he shouts "are we talking about Hande? the girl from the airport?”

"How it pisses me off that you know me so well!” I laugh.

"But wait a minute, you talk to her?”

"Of course I talk to her," I say with total normality, "We've become very close friends... it's normal I guess, after what happened".

"Of course, of course..." he says ironically, "Are you going to talk to me about everything or what? We have all night.”

I shake my head smiling. Before continuing with the conversation, we put Theo to bed, he doesn't even complain, he's exhausted from playing for hours with Hector. We go out on the terrace again, with our glass of beer, just like in the old days. I decide to tell him everything that is happening to me.

"It's normal that you miss her..." he says, "but what you tell me is not only missing... fuck, I've missed you and I don't feel like kissing you!" he says laughing.

"You asshole," I laugh too, "but it's not that easy, man... I'm afraid to make the wrong step. What if I'm imagining everything? I don't know if she…”

"Of course you don't know. Do you think that after 8 years with Melis, I know what she thinks? No!'' he says. “Sometimes I don't even know what she wants to tell me when she talks to me" he laughs "but women are like that" he drinks from his glass.