Fly over the sea

- Chapter 20 -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Kerem~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Days go by in my life without any sense. They have lost it. There is no point to any of it. Like every morning, I do my ritual of looking at my phone and see if I have any new messages, today there is something different.

I read the email carefully, I am dumbfounded. I didn't remember that Kemal, my manager, talked to me about that movie. I did an online casting for the principal role in that movie, a role that will open a lot of doors in the future for me and my international career. And I got the role! I did that casting when I decided to go back to work, before I knew anything about Sen Çal Kapimi, for a film to be shot in the USA.

We have some episodes of the show already filmed, so maybe I could ask our director if I could take some days off, so I can go shoot the film in the US.

I've always thought that you have to take advantage of opportunities and this is certainly a unique opportunity.

I haven't heard from Hande for days. I have exchanged some messages with Melisa, I can't help but be worried and want to hear from her. Apparently, she is not well at all. When we are in set it's true that we changed the ‘chip’ and left our problems behind to concentrate as much as possible on doing our job well. But it hurts me to kiss her when we are acting.

I feel so angry about this situation. I'm starting to think I was wrong...or maybe not...I don't think I’m capable of being with her after what happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hande~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week has passed by and I feel very sad. And it's going to stay that way, because he's not coming back to me, I don't deserve it. I didn't know how to love him.

Melisa is coming for lunch. It's Saturday and I don’t have to go to set today.

My relationship with Kerem is totally professional, we only talk to each other while we are acting, otherwise we don't even look at each other.

After lunch, I see how Melisa is with her phone a lot.

"Who are you talking to?" I ask.

"With Kerem" she answers without looking at me "What?" she asks when I look at her "I won't lie to you, sometimes I talk to him... he asks me how are you”

"Really?" I ask.

“Fuck!" she snorts "Hande…" she looks at me with pity "he just told me that he has been offered a job for a movie..." I look at her interested "in the US".

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Kerem~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last week I talked with the director of Sen Çal Kapimi to see if I could have some days off, and since we have recorded up to episode 12, but it has only been aired up to episode 6, there is no problem for me to go to the US, while the rest of the cast keeps shooting the scenes where I don’t appear, and I think they will have some days off too.

Now I don't know what I'm doing here. I have such a strange feeling while I walk through the airport, looking at the signs.

I take a cab, and I indicate to the cab driver the address of my parents' house here. Now the house is empty, we only use it when we come here since my parents are living in Turkey now.

I get out of the cab and walk into my childhood home. Everything is the same as last time.

I will be here for a month shooting the movie and then I will go back to Turkey and then we will continue shooting Sen Çal Kapimi. I hope that when I get back things will be better between Hande and me.