Nathan Kingston has been forgotten by the world. A dad that fucked off when he was young and a mother gone days at a time with work he feels alone. Especially since he goes to the most elite private school in the city on scholarship. He's falling do...
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Nathan Kingston
Today just solidified everything that has happened in my almost 18 years of existence. Everywhere I looked it was like something else was going wrong.
The project that I worked on for two hours last night didn't save and I'm back to ground zero.
I missed not one but two trains to school, effectively making me late. Then once I got to school I was called into the office for being late and given a strict conversation about the attendance stipulation of my scholarship.
I could've dealt with most of that, I have before.
But during my meeting with the principal he had his finger over the PA button our entire conversation, his lecture about keeping my scholarship was broadcasted to everyone in the school.
The "scholarship boy" comments amplified a hundredfold today and the only escape was the blasting music in my headphones.
But the final nail in the coffin was on my walk home a car hit a particularly heavy puddle and drenched me in dirty street water, breaking my supposedly "waterproof" headphones.
From there the thoughts increased without the music to distract from them.
And It's gotten to be too much. everything.
I've made my choice, the thoughts ramping up in my head have made their choice.
I can say my goodbyes to my mom before I do it. She texted me that she was popping back by the apartment to get more things for another trip. The only difference from normal is that she won't know I'm not saying goodbye for a week, I'm saying it forever.
I've been planning this.
I said goodbye to Hugo yesterday at our training session at the gym. He had thought of it as a passing farewell and a notion that we'll see each other Saturday morning for another session but I knew in the back of my brain that it was a permanent goodbye.
I slam the door to my bedroom closed, pacing around the room while I try to get the words down on the paper.
The words on my farewell note.
I get probably about halfway done when I hear the lock clicking and I will the thoughts to go away for even a second, to make this final moment with my mother bearable.
"Nathan, Honey are you home?" She calls with a smile on her face, shrugging her coat off her shoulders and hanging it on a hook as I slowly open my bedroom door.
Do you see how happy she is when she's not around you? You're nothing but a burden to her and everyone else in your life.
The thoughts rage as I step further into the living room and I plaster on a small smile so she doesn't suspect anything, "yeah I just got back from school. How long are you gonna be home for?"
