I closed my eyes, slowly quivering to the simultaneous movement of Ian's lips on mine.
All logic said to let go but my heart failed me. My body wasn't doing any better. A strange sensation ran through my veins, down to my stomach. Hitting against the walls of my lower abdomen.
It was as though my brains had left my body and only returned after Ian gently drew himself backwards.
"I think I should be on my way home".
" I'm sorry", he stuttered.
I didn't know what to do or say to him, so I quickly stood up and staggered my way to the door.
I didn't turn back until I was out of the mansion and eventually out of the estate.
'Have you had your first kiss, I read.
'What was it like?'.
"Crap", I thumped on the bed.
" what do I do?".
I'd been pacing up and down the four corners of my room for almost 30 minutes with a ton of unanswered questions whirling in my head.
I couldn't call kirah. She and I had spaced out for a couple of days plus I saw her talking to Rotimi the other day.
I also didn't know how my mom would react if I ever walked up to her to ask about stuff like this.
It's the first time I'm having an issue that I can neither discuss with my mom nor Kirah and it made me anxious.
I raised the duvet to make sure I was completely under it then brought out my phone to seek answers from the
Internet. The only place I could think of.
'Don't panic. I read.
'It's normal, every girl has a first time.
I was going to continue but suddenly stopped at the last line.
"That's it", I muttered.
" I'm not a girl".
All other related searches said bizarre things like, 'Am I gay? 10 ways to know you're gay, my gay coming out story and many other headlines I didn't want to read.
I'm not completely ignorant about same-sex love or relationships. I just didn't expect it to happen to me who has spent all my life studying and barely had time for any kind of intimate friendship.
I thought gay people only existed in the movies and never imagined meeting one, talk less of being one.
I couldn't even say it was a mistake, I knew Ian was going to kiss me from the time he cupped my cheek and looked at me like his whole world depended on it.
I could've resisted but I didn't, none of my instincts led me to.
How was I going to face Ian after today?
What was I going to tell my parents if they ever found out that I kissed a boy?
Someone like me who doesn't forget a pin, how was I going to forget something as huge as this?
As I sat there in the corner of my room all curled up in the duvet with my hands crossed on my knees, the picture of everything at Ian's place was stuck in my head.
I could still hear the ticking sound of the wall clock that hung in the piano room. The small rays of yellow sunset that shone across the grand piano, the slow movement of Ian's fingers on mine, the woody scent of his boyish Cologne and the cold moisture from his small red lips.
Thinking about him alone sent shivers running down my spine.
I wasn't thinking straight and it made me question my self-discipline.
Since when did I start to feel this way? Since when did my teenage hormones started acting up?
Maybe I'd spent too much time on books and needed to start hanging around with girls like the rest of my peers.
Maybe my body was reacting this way because of the sudden closeness between Ian and me.
I was going to figure out everything on my own but before then, It was better to stay away from Ian.
I couldn't take the risk of stirring up any feelings whatsoever that I wasn't capable enough to control.
I spent the rest of the weekend sleeping and meditating in my room but eventually, the weekend didn't last forever.
I thought of all the excuses I could give that would sound solid to help me skip school but none of them made any sense.
I'd missed Sunday service yesterday and my mom only let me because my temperature escalated after long hours of worrying and thinking.
"Are you in there?", asked my mom from outside.
" yes, mommy", I stood up to open the door.
"Still feeling sick?".
" not really", I grumbled.
"Your dad wants you to go with him to the church clinic".
"I don't want to", I frowned.
" I'm totally fine".
"You sure?".
" yes".
"I can call Othniel to come and check you up At home if you don't want to go there".
" don't bother mommy, I'm fine".
"Alright then", she turned to leave.
" freshen up and come out for breakfast so you don't get late to school".
YOU ARE READING
COLOUR BLIND
Teen Fiction(Completed) Luka has never been confused about what is wrong and right. He never thought he'll be. *** Luka Yavinga is 17 and a straight A student of Knowlton, a British Nigerian school known for its discipline and academic standards. He has managed...
