COLOUR BLIND

CHAPTER 25

I was so angry that my rage turned to heartache and caused me sleeplessness.
I'd gone to bed earlier than Malik. He said he'd join me later, but I woke up and found him sitting on the armchair when I came out to get a glass of cold water.
"You don't look okay", I said before joining him on the chair.
"Want to talk?".
"I had a nightmare ", he answered calmly.
He said they were about Imran, and it'd been happening for some time now.
I wanted to give him words of encouragement even though I, too, needed them. He'd been beating himself about his brother's death but still cheered everyone on like he was fine.
"Back then in school, on the day before IGCSE". I turned to Malik.
"I saw him at the old school building, alone". I added.
"He looked completely blank and had a slit scar on his wrist".
"I could've done something".
"You were just a boy", I retorted.
"We all were".
I paused for a moment before continuing. "Beating yourself up about it won't bring him back, Malik." I sighed.
"So, can you at least think he's in a better place now?". I asked him.
"A safe and happy place where he's full of life and without worries".
Malik nodded gently and, after a while, asked me what I intended to do about the situation with Ian.

"I'm quitting my job at the NHS".
"What?", he sprang up from where he'd sat.
"That's your dream, Luka".
"My dream you say". I scoffed.
"The one Ian bought for me?".
"But.."
"What exactly am I supposed to do?".
I asked as if I was asking myself.
"When the life I thought I worked hard for was sought after by a guy I'm in love with but's now engaged to a woman I didn't know about till this morning, Malik ". I said.
"I have to leave the place before I lose any more of my sanity".
I told Malik how I'd spoken to Dr Campbell after the news earlier today and he told me that I could resume work since the scandal was cleared. He also told me that Ian might've asked for a few favors during the residency application process and was about to explain further when I ended the call.

If Ian knew that I'd applied for residency in Scotland then there are chances that he knew why I was coming here in the first place.
The thought of him having ways to contact me but still choosing to stay away made my heart boil with anger.
I didn't know how I was going to face my colleagues at NHS with my head high, so I decided to return to Dundee and submit my letter of withdrawal to the hospital management but instead met Dr. Campbell, who said he'd hold onto the letter for a day or two so I'd rethink the decision.
He said that my portfolio was already good enough and even if Ian didn't get paranoid or did what he did, I would've gotten accepted in the end.
I didn't know if he was saying this to boost back my broken ego but to me, it honestly didn't make any difference as I kept on thinking why Ian didn't contact me if he was keeping track of my educational journey like that.
"Just what kind of a person is he?".
Dr Campbell said he wasn't in the position to tell me about Ian. He calmly wrote an address on the paper and asked me to go see Ian if I needed answers to my questions.
I'd worked in the NHS for almost a year, and Dr Campbell was the only person I looked up to as a fatherly figure.
He was worried that things had come to this and to be sincere, I was too.
What would become of my life if I quit my medical residency and went back home to Bloomfield? I didn't want to hurt my mom, so I decided to go see Ian and give everything a second thought,t, as Dr Campbell suggested.

Ian didn't live in Dundee. I got to the address my superior gave me and realized it was covered by lots of media.
I'd worn a hoodie so I wouldn't get recognized by anyone around him as the boy from the viral picture, but I ended up bumping into a lady who looked strangely familiar.
She had Auburn hair, pretty eyes, s, and a slender figure that was enhanced by the glass-heeled shoes she wore.
I quickly apologized and was going to make my way in another direction when she pulled me back because she also thought I looked familiar.
"You're that guy right?".
"Sorry", I stuttered.
"Do I know you?"
"Ava Murdoch". She said curtly.
"Soon to be Ava Macgregor Kendrew".