COLOUR BLIND

CHAPTER 23

What happened to Ian after he left Knowlton?
I remember him being cold to the other boys back then and even throwing a few punches but his eyes were never this dark. No matter how I tried to ignore every sense of curiosity and just cut him off, there was a voice in my head that conflicted with my decision.
The voice that asked, "What happened to Ian".
I had no idea how to go about my inquiry because I barely even knew anything about his family background, I didn't think they lived in Dundee either.
The only person I ever had a sort of interaction with was Jamie whom I didn't know how to find. So many thoughts ran through my mind as we drove back to my place in Menzieshill.
I got out of the car without saying a word to Ian and was about to head inside when I saw Freddie taking out the trash at the gate.

"Getting dropped off by fancy cars now huh?", he said immediately after he saw me but I ignored him and walked inside while he followed close behind.
"Is it some well-off old lady at work?".
"What exactly is your problem?", I turned to him.
"Nothing".
"I'm surprised you don't see anything wrong with the way you act?".
"cos there's nothing wrong with it".
"Then get your head checked", I turned away.
"I'm sure they'll find something ".

I'd turned towards the door to walk off when Freddie suddenly grabbed my hand but got punched in the face before I could even react to him grabbing my hand.
Everything happened so fast that it took me a minute to realize Ian was now standing between me and Freddie who'd gotten a nosebleed from the unexpected hit.
"I promise you'll pay for this". He said to Ian while holding his palm on the bleeding nose.
Ian wasn't bothered at all. I was surprised to see how unremorseful he was with what he'd done to Freddie.
"I'll press charges against you both".
"Please don't", I tried to go to Freddie when Ian snapped, "Let him".
"Excuse me?".
" I want to see him try ". Ian added before I lost it and dragged him out with me.

"Who asked you to do that?".
"I'm sorry", said Ian.
"I was trying to..".
"Fix things again huh?". I asked.
"By punching a person you don't even know".
"But he..".
"Was my friend ", I cut in.
"And friends argue okay", I yelled.
"I know you're Ian MacGregor who's got the world on his feet but I'm just me, Ian. I'm a struggling black boy in the middle of Scotland and I'm no longer 17". I sighed.
"Stop trying to make life difficult for me cos it already is".
"I just wanted to help".
" I can take care of myself", I stomped back into the yard and locked the gate behind me.
I got back inside but didn't find Freddie where we left him so I just went to my room and had a warm bath to clear my head.
It was a Sunday, the only day I had out of the 5 working and one extra day I had to be at NHS.
Later that evening, I slept off and had a nightmare which I woke up feeling was rather a memory.
A memory that'd been locked away by my childhood self only to be forced open by the scenario in that underground place with Ian.
That dream was about my mom and I was still a kid, maybe 4 or less. Holding onto my mom when she got hit to the floor by a face I didn't see at the beginning. My mom was much younger in that dream too. I was crying loudly and tried to stop that person when they kicked me off and I passed out.
I woke up sweating and breathing so hard around 4 am.
I made a cup of ginger tea to drink but ended up stirring gently into the tea and wondering if the person I saw in my dream who brutally hit my mom was indeed my Dad.

I got to work later that morning hoping to have a normal work day at NHS but something else happened.
I'd noticed from the minute I entered the hospital premises how people looked weirdly at me. They'll look down at their phones and back up in my direction as if to be sure it was the person they thought it was which made me a little anxious but I shook it off. I was one of the few black people at NHS.
I ought to get used to being stared at.
I went straight to the neurological department and was soon met by my co-trainee who told me that I'd been summoned by the higher-ups to go to the meeting room down the hallway.
I got into the meeting room not sure of what to expect and saw Dr Campbell and 2 other doctors including our chief executive.
I knew it was something huge immediately I saw the worried look on their faces.
"Have a seat Yavinga", Said our chief executive who seemed rather concerned than angry about whatever it was that was going on.
"Dr Campbell told me you called in sick yesterday?"
"y- yes sir", I stuttered.
"I wasn't feeling so good".