COLOUR BLIND

CHAPTER 24

It's shocking how simply opening up can help solve most of the mysteries in a person's life.
I always used to wonder why Imran was so introverted back then. There was this very familiar feeling I had whenever I came across him in school. He seemed lost most of the time and barely said a word or two; a character I now understood better.
I remember that day at the old school building, how blank he looked when he asked me what I thought about "holding on". I'd wanted to tell Malik about it but our discussion ended so quickly because Malik had to leave for work.
I noticed the resentment in Malik's voice when he made mention of his parents and it wasn't hard for me to connect the dots.
Malik had probably had a breakdown after his brother's passing and somehow blamed his parents for it.
He also moved out of their home during that time and got this small apartment in east London while he completed his degree and couldn't land a proper job yet since his parents were no longer in the picture. So he had to work at the pizza shop to make ends meet.
I admired his courage but felt sad after finding out about what happened to Imran.

I'd be lying if I said there weren't times I thought of taking my life or running away too.
So many times I've said to people that the reason why I studied medicine was because of my late cousin Spencer who died from cancer at an early age but deep down inside of my heart, I know I'm not completely honest when I say that.
It is true that Spencer's passing affected my childhood and also motivated me to be a better person but I too had my desires. Maybe I chose a career path in medicine because I knew it would be convincing enough for my parents to let me leave Bloomfield.
perhaps I too am running, just like Malik.
I strangely understood why Imran did what he did. I know how it feels to be different in a conservative religious family more than anyone. I know that grief swallows a person whole too.
My mom always said that 'it is the people who are left behind that suffer the most'. Maybe that's why I held on for this long.
I'd seen how my aunt became an empty shell of her old self after Spencer's passing, I didn't want that for my mom or Ivy. Or even Malik. Even though I knew that he was bound to feel that pain, I hoped he'd move on and also find peace.

The next day when Malik came back from work, I told him about Ian and he seemed pretty surprised that he was clueless about it back then.
I explained everything that transpired between us from the beginning down to the scandal.
I'd turned off my phone since I came to London so as soon as I turned it on, I went to the internet to find the posts about me and Ian which I intended to show to Malik but didn't find them again. It was almost as if nothing happened at all.
Malik said Ian's family had to be very influential to be able to take down all traces of a scandal like that. He also advised me to call Ian and talk things out with him so I'd know where I stood.
I liked that I was able to open up to Malik but I worried if Ian would want to talk to me considering that we fought the last time we saw each other.
I hesitantly opened the dial pad on my phone and called his line.
He sounded worried and immediately asked where I was because he couldn't find me at home or my workplace
I told him about the sudden work leave and how I got stalked and ended up in London because I was scared to go home. He asked me to send the address of Maliks house which I did before hanging up the phone.
Malik was completely doubtful that Ian would suddenly fly to London because I told him that I was here and to be honest, I was too. But what harm would it do to just wait and see?

"What if he doesn't come?".
"please Malik", I scolded.
"Don't jinx it".
"okay", he laughed it off and I noticed how he looked at me.
"What?". I asked in a less formal tone.
"why are you giving me that look?".
"I don't know ", he lied.
" I guess I'm just surprised"
"About?".
"you of course", he answered.
"I'd never believed a day would come when I'll watch you act this way about anything other than math tests". He added.
"it makes me think whatever Coldie has going on with you is life-altering".