Wish you were gay

Chapter 3; Drowning

He felt like he couldn't breathe, sometimes he would just forget to breathe when he was so deep into thought about something. He couldn't find anything to try and distract himself from these repetitious feelings, thoughts and even emotions, he had thought of everything that could possibly distract himself and nothing would work. Maybe bad could help him, he was a great fatherly figure to him as stated before, so there was a chance he'd know how to help.

Dream
hi, can you help me with something?

BadBoyHalo
Of course ^-^

Dream
i need to distract myself and i can't think of anything to help me

BadBoyHalo
What are you trying to distract yourself from exactly?

Dream
my thoughts, it's like im drowning in them. i can't stop thinking about this person in particular and i want to just stop thinking about it all.

BadBoyHalo
Is it okay if I know who?

Dream
just this guy
he's straight though
it's fine though

BadBoyHalo
Oh Dream :(
I'm so sorry to hear that :(

Dream
it's fine
it's okay

BadBoyHalo
No, it's not okay
Are you 100% sure he's straight? He could be bisexual

Dream
well, he never likes to talk about his sexuality. he said he was straight a few years back but that's about it

BadBoyHalo
Maybe he was too scared to come out to you? Or maybe he was worried about your thoughts?

Dream
he's known ive liked guys for ages so i don't think he would've been worried
i just need a distraction from him though

BadBoyHalo
Right, sorry
Have you tried trying to find new music to listen to? Not your normal music, like tried to find a different genre

Dream
ive never tried that actually
ill give it a go

BadBoyHalo
I hope you feel better
And just remember, there are always people around you to support you, me, George and Sapnap will always be here to help you :)
If he is really straight, then maybe you just haven't found the right person yet? You believe in soulmates right?

Dream
i do believe in soulmates

BadBoyHalo
Maybe, your soulmate is out there right now, you could've already met them, you could meet them in days, weeks ect, but I know you will find them eventually :)

Dream
met them already?

BadBoyHalo
Georgeeee

Dream
he's straight

BadBoyHalo
Your first thought is "he's straight" and not "he's just a friend" o-O

Dream
ill try your suggestion

BadBoyHalo
Okay ^-^

Dream closed Discord and opened up Spotify with a sigh. Bad definitely knew the boy he liked was George because he opened his stupid mouth and now he was regretting even asking Bad what to do. He harshly clicked on a playlist full of recommended songs. There were a lot of songs that didn't catch his eye, many of them being pop songs he either didn't like or just didn't have a good cover/name.

Though, one caught his eye.

'Wish You Were Gay.'

Now, he was supposed to be trying to distract himself from these inescapable feelings, but this song was calling his name. He felt compelled to listen to it, it was something about the name of it that made him click it. Maybe it's because he only listened to songs he had either a connection with or related to, but the name seemed promising.

He clicked it and began searching for lyrics he felt like he related to or just liked, that was what he did all the time when he listened to songs. It was like it was a routine to do it when he listened to new songs. It was like when he listened to music he ignored lyrics he didn't relate to, he only picked out lyrics he felt connections to and just paid no attention to the rest. Which was exactly he was doing right now.

'I just wanna make you feel okay, but all you do is look the other way'

'I just kinda wish you were gay.'

'Ten fingers tearing out my hair'

Dream crossed his arms on his desk, scooting all his belongings away. He tugged the cable on his headphones so they wasn't tangled, and laid on his crossed arms while closing his eyes to think about the lyrics even more. He picked at the verses he felt a connection to the most.

'How am I supposed to make you feel okay, when all you do is look the other way?'

'Just say that I'm not your preferred sexual orientation.'

'I'm so selfish.'

'But you make me feel helpless.'

He had heard the song a billion times before, he never hated it, but he never felt a connection to it either. Now that he had these fumbled and extremely confusing feelings for his straight best friend, he felt like it meant a lot more to him. He knew the song wasn't how he related to it, he knew the singer had written it for a complete different reason but the lyrics perfectly depicted how he was feeling.

He was supposed to distract himself yet he ended up swimming back to the deep end where he would begin to drown again once again. He couldn't think straight, in both ways that was, and it made him feel like he couldn't even confront anyone about it. George was the person he liked, so he was out of the question. Sapnap would just tell George and that would ruin everything. BadBoyHalo, already knew, though, Dream had a feeling he wouldn't tell anyone.

Dream
bad

BadBoyHalo
Yep ^-^

Dream
can we vc tomorrow?

BadBoyHalo
Ofc! ^-^

Dream
its just about something that has been stressing me out a lot recently, im going to go to bed rn, but thank you so much for letting me talk to you about it :)

Dream shut off his phone and continued listening to the song on loop. He didn't know if it was a good idea to be telling Bad, or anyone for that matter, but he felt like he needed to tell someone or he'd end up suffocating in his feelings even more than he already was. Maybe telling Bad would take some weight off his chest, because Bad was really good at comforting people. Though, what if Bad interferes and tells George? 

Dream felt sick, he felt like he was going to throw up from all the panicking and worrying he had been doing. This wasn't healthy, he was obsessing over his thoughts and he couldn't escape them, they were driving him insane. He just wanted to be happy with George but his feelings were like a brick wall, it was separating him from his best friend.

His best friend he loved.

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