Wish you were gay

Chapter 10; Back to square one

George kissed Dream. Sure, it was on the cheek but it sent him crazy and made him spiral into a thousand other possibilities, but the main two were sophisticated.

1. George kissed him because he liked him.

George could've used it as an excuse, or maybe Sapnap even told George to do it when he was zoned out. Either way, George might have kissed him because he wanted to. He didn't have much to support this possibility but there was a chance.

2. George just did it for the $100

A free $100 is what it seemed like because if it was as little as kissing someone on the cheek, it was definitely worth doing, straight or not. That's what confused Dream. George knew Dream was gay, so why would he kiss a gay guy if he was straight? Though, it was $100, so it would've been free money like he thought of before. George didn't want to kiss him for $20 so there was no chance he'd do it for nothing, especially in private.

He was back to square one, wishing his best friend was gay. After waiting for his PC to start up, he clicked on Spotify and then on the song.

'"Baby, I don't feel so good", six words you never understood' No matter how many times he had locked himself in his room, George was consistently coming back into the room to ask him what's wrong. It was nice, but when he genuinely couldn't bring himself to tell George why he hadn't been well and why he was distancing himself away from him, it made everything seem like he was purposely doing it, when all he was trying to do was not ruin the friendship.

'"I'll never let you go", five words you'll never say' George wouldn't talk to Dream about his feelings, but recently he had been a lot more open for some reason. He had changed ever so slightly, only by doing things like holding his hand, saying how much Dream meant to him and things like that.

'I laugh along like nothing's wrong, four days has never felt so long' Although these four days had been okay, there was still someone off about how he acted when he was near George. He felt like he was leaning too far away from him or too close, they had slept in the same bed and Dream still felt like he was doing something wrong or was making it obvious.

'If three's a crowd and two was us, one slipped away' When George had the chance to be alone with Dream, he always ended up being the first one to leave. Dream just wanted him to stay with him all the time, if Sapnap was there or not he still liked George being around him. This didn't happen all the time though, it only really happened when they were showing some sort of affection to eachother. It was like George would realise he was laying on Dream's shoulder or lap and he'd get up and leave.

'I just wanna make you feel okay
But all you do is look the other way' Dream just wanted George to get the hint, but all he did was pass it off as their platonic flirting and relationship, but it wasn't that, it was Dream genuinely trying to show George he liked him.

'I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay' He didn't want to stay trapped in this endless loop of getting close with George, and then going back to being into his room panicking.

'I just kinda wish you were gay' He hated how he was wishing his best friend was gay, but there he was sitting at his desk with his arms and his head burrowed into the crook of his arm. He loved George to the point where calling him a best friend felt like a knife to the stomach. Everything and anything made him think of George. Looking at his desk made him think of when him and George built it together, looking at the stickers on the celing made him think of how thoughtful George was to buy them for him, looking at his bed made him think of all the recent times where they fell asleep together.

"Get up." Sapnap said, pulling Dream up by the collar of his hoodie. Dream grabbed Sapnap's arm and pulled him off his hood, confused.

"Why?"

"You were doing so well yesterday with him and you just lock yourself in your room after everything that happened?"

"What? Nothing happened."

"For starters you were holding hands the entire time you were at the park, and at dinner time, he laid on your lap the entire movie and he kissed you." Sapnap said, clearly George had slipped up about it and figured it didn't mean anything romantic. Another sign of George seeing their relationship as platonic.

"How do you know that." It was more of a demand for him to answer than a question.

"He told me everything. I asked if you were acting off around him and he said a little. He told me you held hands and spoke about Christmas, so tell me. Did anything other than hand holding happen? Did you kiss or confess?"

"No, I didn't." He sighed to himself, mostly because he wished he did so he wouldn't have to put up with his feelings anymore.

"It's Christmas very soon and you told- no, promised him, that you'd tell him what's been wrong with you, now's the best time."

"Nope, goodbye." Dream put his headphones back on and continued listening to the song. He expected George to eventually come walking in so he put his headphones on where it was just covering one ear. He decided to just stop listening to music all together for the moment so he just sat and waited for George to walk in.

As expected, he walked in.

"I got you an early Christmas present by the way. I didn't know if you were awake or not but Sapnap just told me you were pissed again."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"I'm just so confused with myself I end up hurt your feelings yet you keep coming back. Right now, after I've locked myself in my room all day again you keep coming back."

"Yeah, because you're my best friend, why wouldn't I?"

"Yeah..." He said to himself, he shouldn't take it to heart but he did. If George liked him, he would still call Dream his best friend as he didn't know if Dream liked him or not. He shouldn't let things like that leave little cuts in his heart, but he did.

"I care about you, y'know." George said, as Dream acted like he was organizing his shelves, when he was just trying to act busy so George would leave. Dream froze up when he said that and turned around to look at George. There was something about George's eyes, he couldn't put his finger in what it was about them, but they looked warm and cozy, maybe it was how intently George looked at him, but he always looked focused on him.

"I love you, a lot."

George didn't say anything, but instead he just opened his arms up and stepped forward, so his arms were hovering around Dream's torso. Obviously, George wouldn't go in for the hug, so Dream stepped forward, and once he did, George wrapped his arms around him and held him.

Something about this hug felt different. The way George held him made him feel things he had never felt before. He didn't feel like this when anyone else hugged him. With anyone hugging him, he felt safe, it was nice to be hugged, but this hug in particular by George, made him feel like he was at home. Sure, he lived with George and he could see him all the time, though this hug just made him feel like he forgot everything around him. He couldn't think properly, he was spaced out, only focused on the warm embracement, he wasn't thinking to the point where he didn't even hug George back.

He snapped out of his thoughts and wrapped his arms around George, swaying side to side slightly.

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