Suits and Scars

Chapter Eleven: Self

Taylor's Point of View

Crying in the elevator was not on my list of things to do but there I was.

Nothing better than starting Monday with a midnight cry before my head had even hit my pillow. I had to be up in six and half hours to get ready for work but I didn't know how I was going to get any sleep.

I tried to walk into the apartment as quietly as I could in case Madison was asleep, knowing she had that big presentation in the morning. However, I had been living with her for almost ten years at this point, so I had a good feeling she would still be awake and most likely still sitting at the table. She always went over things a million times to make sure they were perfect when she was preparing for things even though they were perfect the first time she did it.

There was no way of getting into my room without her seeing me, since she could see the front door from where she was sitting, but I tiptoed anyway.

"Jeez Tay, four hours? What did you do fuck?" She joked without even looking at me.

I couldn't say anything, just wiped the tears away and walked to my room but before I could make it she looked up. We made eye contact and, like the best friends we were, she read me like a book she couldn't put down.

"Oh shit, you totally did. Did you and Chris fuck?"

My eyebrows raised and I just nodded my head, "And your brother." I mumbled.

"Wait, what?" She stood and walked over to me, "Did you just say you had a threesome? With Chris and Matt?"

"Are you mad?" I asked, tears already springing back to my eyes.

"God no! I have had to hear both sides of what was apparently a forbidden love for the last twenty years. I have been manifesting you two together for years now. I'm just happy you finally turned in the keys to escape the virginity kingdom." She laughed and wrapped me into a hug.

I hugged her back and laughed, "Mads, did you think I was still a virgin?"

"Weren't you? You never told me you had sex with anyone, and we tell each other everything."

I looked at my feet, unsure if I wanted to see her reaction, "I had sex with Declan before he graduated."

"No. Fucking. Shit." She said each word as if it was a complete sentence, "Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged my shoulders and looked back at her, "We agreed not to tell anyone." I let out a long breath, "I gotta be up early for work though so I am going to bed." I walked away from her before she could ask me a million questions.

Declan and I sleeping together was a mistake. Not the actual act of having sex but because I let my guard down.

"You're graduating next month, Dec." I spun around and looked at Declan who was laying on my bed with his eyes closed.

I had been attempting to finish all of my assignments before fall break so when I came back I could just focus on studying. Being my fourth and final full year of college I pretty much had this down to a science. It also was a lot easier since Madison and I decided to stay in the dorms even though her dad said he would find us an apartment after our sophomore year. Matty and Declan also told us we could move in with them.

Taking more money from Mr. Carbo felt wrong so I turned him down really fast, which meant the guys were on my case. I couldn't live with them. Being secretly in love with them all for the last three years, even though Chris ditched us, was hard enough when we didn't live together. Somehow I managed to convince Madison this was a better idea for our studies and she went with it.