Suits and Scars

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Depleted

Taylor's Point Of View

I don't remember Friday. I slipped back into that state of mind where I'm aware things around me are happening but I couldn't be a part of them.

I remember Chris trying to get me to get up and eat something for lunch but by that time I was already checked out. I remember Declan forcing me to take sips of water through a straw he would place in my mouth every once in a while. I remember Chris making us dinner and trying to coax me to the dining room. I wanted to get up, I wanted nothing more than to get up but I couldn't move.

I know I watched the sunset through the living room windows before Declan scooped me up into his arms and walked me to bed. I wanted to ask him to stay with me but my mouth couldn't form the words. All I could do was grab his hand when he tried to walk away. He told me he was just going to close the curtains and then would come to bed. I watched him stride across the room as Chris climbed in bed behind me. I don't know when I fell asleep but when I woke up I was alone.

Chris was in his office handling things that he missed yesterday and told me Declan had to run and help Matty with something early this morning but they would be home soon. I nearly gasped when he told me Matty was finally coming home. I needed him. I needed him like I had needed him my entire life. I needed him to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay and that I had nothing to worry about even though I felt like I had everything to worry about.

I decided to get in the shower and cry out the rest of these emotions before the guys got home. I turned the shower on and looked at myself in the mirror while I waited for the water to warm up. 

My face was so pale it was almost scary. I hated that when I got into these moods my color drained so quickly. I climbed into the shower and let the water soothe my muscles and calm my entire body down and only then did I realize the water on my face wasn't just from the shower. I placed my hand on the wall and let my mind run free so I would hopefully be brand new by the time I got out.

I couldn't help but wonder what Matty had gotten himself into that he would need Declan's help. I knew when he left he was going to protect me but I didn't know what I would need protecting from. The letters at the hotel didn't have a name on them and I had no idea who RO was. If I didn't know then how was he going to find out? The only other person I could think of that he would think I needed protecting from was Greg.

I dropped to my knees. My breathing instantly became more difficult. If Matty went to Greg that would mean he would know that I told someone. He would know that I have been with guys. He would most likely know that I was at least with Matty. He would hurt him. Greg always told me that he knew everything and always had a way to find out about everything I did. He probably knew about all three of them.

I knew I was crying but was so focused on getting a full breath that I wasn't aware I was laying in the bottom of the shower.

Greg was going to hurt them. Maybe that's why Declan had to go help. Maybe Matty was so hurt he needed Declan to take him away from Greg. If Declan had to go get him then he would be putting himself in danger as well. I had to go get them. I would get so many cuts for what I have done but I couldn't let him torture them. I knew I could handle it, I just had to get up.

Come on Taylor, get off the floor. Get up. Now. Get Up!

But I couldn't do it. My body was numb so I did the one thing I knew would let me feel something again. Slowly I curled my fingers into my palms, eagerly waiting for the knowing bite of pain. But it never came. Instead, I was met with resistance as I was lifted from the floor.

"Not today amore mio. Open your eyes and look at me."

My eyes opened as if they were voice-operated, "Matty?" I whispered.