Suits and Scars

Chapter Forty-Five: Reconnected

Taylor's Point of View

White floors.

White walls.

White ceiling.

White chairs.

The smell of bleach filled my nostrils. The sound of the clock ticking above my head was my only reminder that time was actually still moving at a normal rate. I had no idea how long I had been sitting there waiting but that's all there was for me to do.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Finally, a doctor walked through the large white door and sat in a chair in front of me.

"I'm so sorry Ms. Carter." His words sounded like another language until my brain accepted them.

I jumped to my feet muttering the word no over and over again. There had to have been a mistake. The doctor was still talking to me but I couldn't hear anything he was trying to say. I turned to walk away from him when another doctor walked up to me. He was shaking his head looking between me and the floor.

"Ms. Carter," he sighed, "I'm sorry to say Mr. Miller didn't make it."

I wasn't sure I had heard him correctly until he repeated himself. I turned away from him as well and took off to the nurse's station. I needed to call someone, I couldn't do this by myself. I called Matty but he didn't answer so I called Mads knowing she would always answer.

"Hello?" Madison's voice was filled with sadness.

"Maddie?" I tried to keep it all together.

She cried again, "Oh Taylor. He's gone. He's really gone."

A sob rattled my chest and I dropped the phone. All of them were gone. I couldn't do this without them. I didn't want to do any of this without them. How was I going to go home and live a life without the loves of my life? I dropped to my knees on the hard white tiled floor, the action shooting pain through my body, and let myself cry.

A nurse rushed over to help me, "It's okay, sweetheart. You'll be okay Tot, just breathe."

I shot up in the bed, covered in sweat and tears. The room was filled with a soft glow from the bedside light. I looked around trying to get my bearings. Matty was sitting against the headboard on my right while Chris was on my left rubbing my back.

"Just breathe, Tot. It was just a bad dream again." He spoke calmly until I laid back down between them.

Matty brushed a few strands of hair off my sticky forehead, "Same one as before?" He asked sweetly.

I turned to him, "Pretty much, I didn't have to see your bodies this time so that's a plus."

"They're becoming less frequent. Eventually, you won't have them at all." Chris said, kissing my bare shoulder.

I slowly started climbing out of the bed, "It's been a month since the shooting, I wish the dreams would just go away too." I planted my feet on the floor and fixed my tank top, "I'm just going to go check on him." I held my hand up just as Matty opened his mouth, "I know he's okay, but it'll make me feel better to see he's breathing. I'll be right back."

I turned and walked out of the room to go to Declan's bedroom. His shoulder was still sore from having to get the bullet surgically removed and he did lose a lot of blood during the procedure so he was taking it safe and sleeping in his own room. Walking down the hallway I started feeling a little queasy. The Carbo family doctor, Dr. Rinaldi, told Matty there was a good chance my nightmares could make me throw up from their intensity.