Draconia Offline vol. 1

68.3. A Golden Cage - Part 3

"I guess it makes sense... kind of?" Gotrid is the first to break the silence. "The Emperor is supposed to be our race's protector."

"Good to know, changes nothing," Erik insists. "If Ryuu can't use magic against his own people, he still should have told us."

"So His Majesty is defenceless when it comes to us?!" Vermiel asks to make sure, his voice tense. "Dammit, that changes everything, Royal Consort! I have to speak with Her Excellency immediately. Please, excuse me!"

Vermiel leaves in a hurry and Miruel takes his place. There's recognition in her eyes. Now she knows why I couldn't do anything. It wasn't just because I had a panic attack.

"Back to the topic," Zetraya says. "Your Majesty, why did you feel you couldn't tell us?"

"I... ehm...," I'm wavering. Why indeed?

"Did it maybe happen before?" Zetraya leans forward.

I want to say 'no', but that would be a blatant lie. I recall all those instances when someone groped me on the train and I couldn't call for help. Who would even come to my rescue? Anyone would help a woman but I was an androgynous man. Sure, certain types of gay men were totally into me, but to normal people, I was a freak.

"Not good," Gotrid grows pale when he catches a glimpse of my memories. "This is even worse than we thought, Erik."

"I had my suspicions," Erik replies darkly. "Ryuuto was repressing it all this time."

"Repressed trauma," Zetraya sighs deeply. "Thought so."

"How could they?" Gotrid pulls me to his chest. "Our Emperor is so beautiful. How could anyone look at our beloved and think he's a freak?"

"Humans are scared of what they don't understand," Zetraya comments. "Even before the Great Evolution, His Majesty looked human enough but, at the same time, not enough."

"Hey, I'm not an alien," I frown.

"But you weren't quite human from the very beginning either," Gotrid reminds me patiently. "Werden confirmed it, you didn't change from the human basis the same way we did."

"So you thought I'm an alien all this time?" I can't believe my ears.

"Well, not an alien from outer space," Erik tries to calm me down by petting my wings. "Something else. Something magical."

"I think you're so scared of hospitals because your mom conditioned you to never go there," Gotrid remarks. "They would find out you're not human immediately."

"I must be at least half-human because my Mom was," I say feebly.

"We know, hon, we know," Erik kisses my hair again and continues petting my wings.

"A self-acceptance issue," Zetraya summarises. "His Majesty felt out of place for so many years that he developed a burning wish to be normal."

"Which doesn't go exactly well with the whole Emperor business," Erik nods. "But, Ryuu, you know we adore you no matter what. It's all those peculiarities that make you unique."

I blush and hide my face in Gotrid's feathers. Yes, I know and that's part of the reason why I feel so stupid. I feel stupid that I still didn't come to terms with it despite everyone around me being so loving and understanding.

"These things take time, it's been barely half a year since the Great Evolution," Zetraya says. "His Majesty did a lot of self-development work already, especially after New York where he gained confidence. But he still isn't quite there yet."

"I never wished for you to be normal, Ryuu," Erik tickles me under my feathers and makes me turn to him instead. "I never wished for our relationship to be normal either. Sure, they are some annoying things involved, but, overall, I'm more than happy."