You Have My Heart, Lady Illea (A Lady Illea Novel)

Chapter Forty Eight

Someone was playing Fur Elise somewhere in the palace. I didn't mind the sound, in fact I hummed along. There were servants running around by the dozens, people I'd never seen before. I stopped as many as I could and asked them their names. They smiled and bowed their heads. I tried memorizing as many names as I could. I didn't want to be living here without knowing everyone by name.

Whenever I passed a guard I read the name on their badge and greeted them. They seemed to like that because they smiled proudly and went about their business. Everyone was frantically trying to get things ready for the Report tonight and then the party afterwards. It was supposed to be a grand event.

One of the designers I recognized as Pablo I think flew by me with a glass vase filled with flowers. He jumped.

"Oh!" he ran back and handed me the vase. "Could you please bring this to the Prince, Lady Alessandra?"

I smiled. "Of course."

"Make sure he picks a flower."

I laughed. "In other words have him see them so he'll just make me choose anyway."

Pablo smiled kindly, bowed, then went on his way. And assortment of flowers were in the vase and I smelled them as I made my way to his room. There was a bounce to walk and I thought to myself there was no way a girl can be this happy for this many hours straight. I actually giggled aloud.

She can when she's getting married.

I made a turn down the hallway and came to Will's office. Balancing the heavy vase on my right hip I reached for the door handle.

"Will." I said. The door was stuck a bit and I pushed it hard almost tripping over my feet. "Oh crap! I spilled water on the-"

The vase slipped from my fingers and I jumped back smacking my hands over my mouth. I nearly flew out of my skin.

"Oh my God!"

Cecilia jumped nearly a mile away from Will and she dropped his tie. Will looked angry, and it was strange because I rarely ever saw him angry. Her hands were on him. She kissed him.

She was kissing him.

He was kissing her.

 I didn't know how to feel all I knew was that my cheeks were soaked with tears in a matter of seconds. I couldn't think straight. I backed up into the door and flew out of the room as fast as I could. I was sobbing. They were uncontrollable heaves I couldn't control and it was like the walls were crumbling around me.

I couldn't breathe and I couldn't think. I didn't know where to go. I was running down hallways, past workers, and guards, ignoring the constant sound of my name. I felt my heart breaking. I didn't understand. How could this happen?

How could this happen to me?

I was out in the the gardens and I tripped over some bloody twig and I was leaning against one of the benches for support. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried not to empty the contents of my stomach. I flexed my fingers making sure they weren't numb.

I didn't see what I thought I saw. I saw nothing. That wasn't real. This wasn't real but the anger and the pain was. I felt stupid. I felt stupid and foolish and-

I wanted everyone in the world to hurt as bad as I did in that very moment.

"Alessa! Alessa-!"

"No!" I stood up and jumped back as far as I possibly could. "Don't touch me. Don't you dare touch me."

"It wasn't what it looked like-"

"It's never what it looks like with you Will!"

I was surprised to find myself yelling and I turned away from him to run my fingers through my hair. I took deep breaths.

"Alessandra please-"

"I can't," I shook my head and wiped my cheeks. "I can't keep doing this."

"What are you talking about?"

"How many times am I going to let you break my heart damn it!" I smacked him and my palm was on fire. I pulled my hand back and it felt good, it felt really good and I wanted to see Cecilia so I could rip the hair right off her skull. It didn't matter if Cecilia kissed him first or whatever the case may have been. The point was, was that he shouldn't have let it happen in the first place.

"I am at my wits end with you!" I pounded on his chest like it might make me feel better and it did. It felt wonderful. "I was willing to give up my life!"

Pound, pound, pound.

"MY FRIENDS!"

Pound, pound, pound.

"MY HOME!"

Pound, pound, pound.

"TAKE A CROWN I DIDN'T WANT."

Pound, pound, pound.

"FOR YOU!"

pound, pound, pound, pound, pound.

"And you embarrass me! You kiss a girl I can't stand and it's like you're doing it to spite me! How could you do that to me?" I shouted in anguish. "I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, and I wish I'd never entered my form in your stupid selection. You selfish prince!"

I saw nothing but black and red blotches.

"I hope you get hit by a car and bleed to death and I hope no one finds you!"

Will grabbed my wrists and I withered around in his grip until I lost it completely and just cried until my body felt like Jell-O and I was ready to fall apart at the seams.

"Alessandra..." he said quietly.

"I told you!" I said. "I told you! It was her or me!"

"And I chose you."

"YOu clearly didn't!" with one push I was able to get him off of me. "Why was she in your office?"

"She wanted to speak to me."

"Bullshit!"

"Alessa-"

I smacked his hand away and flew a million miles back. "Don't. Touch me." I ran my fingers through my hair and stomped past him. "I'm done."

"What do you mean you're done?" he called coming after me.

I flew around and glared at him. "I mean I'm done. You think I'm scared? I'M NOT MARRYING YOU!" I yelled it nice loud and clear so the entire damn country could hear and I prayed the damn photographers were in the bushes like they always were. "I can leave Will. I'm not the one losing in the end. You are."

What I didn't was,

You just lost everything.

And he did.

Because I meant what I said.

There was no way in Hell I was marrying him.

My heart was something beyond recognition.