Natasha Romanoff One Shots

Making Up ~ A/F

Words: 1.7k
Relation: Romantic
Genre: Angst, Fluff

This is a request from my Tumblr! @natashasnoodle. 

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For most of your life, you had found yourself hiding behind a mask. Not one made of rubber or plastic, not even a mental one, but one made of various beauty products that lined the shelves of pharmacies and cosmetic shops. Having been a rather insecure person from a young age, you had gone with what most other kids your age had picked up: testing out make-up for fun and becoming an 'adult'. Whatever the hell that meant.

It wasn't even something that you were really into as a passion like some of your friends were, who when you had sleepovers with would always want to practice doing cool designs, or making themselves look like characters, sometimes even special effects make-up. But you just weren't into it as a way of entertainment or a silly thing to do when bored.

After a while for you it became survival. With how people in the media were being presented, giving many young girls a false sense of reality and plummeting self-esteem, you found that plastering on that extra layer of your face became a need, not just a want.

The looks that you gave yourself never went overboard, it all looked rather natural, to the point where some people couldn't even tell that you wore it. That was mission achieved in your books. The worst part of the day was when you had to take it off, which you never did in front of anyone else, not trusting them to make comments on what you really looked like, which in actual fact wasn't far off from how you presented yourself. It was just an unfortunate fact that your view of yourself was skewed thanks to beauty standards, something that you were not alone in, a whole generation of young people were being fed lies on the daily.

Every time you removed the layer of paint that acted as your shield against the world, you were reminded that your pores were too big, your acne too noticeable, the dark circles of your under-eye far too dark, and the natural blemishes of your face too red.

For many years you carried on like this, taking the extra time every morning to do the same routine over and over again, not having anyone in your life to ease your worries and remind you just how beautiful you really are. Until you met Natasha.

Natasha... the woman who had become your rock in life. Vividly, you remember her concern when you had become anxious when sleeping in the same room for the first time together. She invited you to take your makeup off with her in her small ensuite, thinking that the situation would be cute and rather romantic.

Instead, it had caused you to feel like the air around you suddenly had no oxygen, her concerned gaze settling on you only worsening the fact.

You felt small and weak, Natasha was ethereal. She was a goddess, and you were... well you were you, and you felt as though you couldn't compare. Getting lost in your own head you hadn't even noticed the way she had gotten so suddenly close to you and how her hand reached out to gently brush your arm. What should have been a gesture that calmed you once again seemed to push you over the edge, not that it was Natasha's fault. When the brain has entered a fight or flight survival mode any little thing can set it off, which is why it's so scary.

As tears began to brim your waterline, Natasha's concerned gaze only intensified, making you feel like you were shrinking. Feeling embarrassed, you tore your eyes away from the only ones that could usually make you feel safe. Tearing your eyes away from her broke you in more ways than you could imagine, making your bottom lib wobble ever so slightly.

You didn't understand why you couldn't just look at her.

Nat's heart followed suit with yours as she guided you to sit on the closed toilet seat. You were always so happy and bubbly, you were her bright light, a beacon that guided her back home - guided her back to you. But at that moment you were dimming.