Flight or Fight? An Eddie Munson Love Story

Chapter Four

We'd been texting back and forth over the course of a week, and I couldn't deny how much he made me smile, laugh and blush. I'd been to my therapist to discuss these new feelings in more detail and how to navigate them, in a way that wouldn't make me feel like backing off; I knew if I did, it would be through no fault of his, it would be mine.

I had to keep reminding myself that I deserved happiness, I deserved another shot at love and finding someone who was right for me; which in turn, brought up feelings of anger that this notion didn't come to me naturally - I had to convince myself.

Everyone else in the world, knew their worth and knew what they wanted or deserved; Me? I had to remind myself because I didn't immediately believe it. Someone beat it out of me for 7 long years of my life.

I wound up going to therapy and learning to defend myself.
I felt like a defect, like a failed science project.

I was struggling, but reminding myself daily of what I deserved in this life was slowly but surely sinking in and each day was slightly and slowly getting easier.

What's on your agenda today then? Eddie text.

I've nothing planned so far, I'm on annual leave. It's been a long week of soul searching and assessments from my therapist. I wrote back.

Would I be okay swinging by to pick you up for a coffee? You can tell me all about it, if you'd like? He immediately text back.

I hesitated then.

Don't push him away. I told myself.

I'd really like that, yeah. I replied.

Ok to be with you in the next 30 mins? He text.

Sure! See you then. I responded, chewing my bottom lip nervously.

I'd meant it; I would really like to get coffee.
I had to take the risk, at some point.

He seemed worth opening up to, and I'd liked him immediately.

Maybe that's what was scaring me?

I hadn't anticipated I'd feel like I'd like anyone else for a long time, if not forever?

And because he was charming, genuine and gentlemanly, it had caught me off guard and I'd shut down.

Oh awesome! Can't wait - I'll be with you soon xx - I gushed at his response and the fact he'd added two kisses on the end.

Something we hadn't really been doing.

My heart had leapt, and I couldn't deny it then.
I don't think I wanted to be friends.

I think I wanted more than that.

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"So, have you had a good week so far?" He asked me, as I took a small sip of my latte.

"Mainly therapy, and just generally pottered around. What about you?" I asked.

"Mainly workshops, been a busy week. But I wanted to squeeze a coffee in with you, so I made sure I had today free." Eddie said, smiling.

"Well, thank you - I'm glad you asked." I said.

"Good! And you've been getting on okay at therapy?" He asked.

"I apparently needed it, and I feel a lot better." I said.

"Therapy is good. I'm glad you're feeling better." He said.

"Listen...." I started to say, feeling like I owed him an explanation.