Stellify; Jasper Hale. (Book I)

---Chapter Twenty-Four---

"Maybe only some people come out the other end of shame a better person, while others can't escape"

-Shame, Katie Maria.

Twenty-four.

Jasper, though cursed with empathic abilities, had never been too much of a feeler. In his life of both vampirism and being human, he didn't like getting into the nitty gritty with people around him. Yes, he could persuade even the iciest of people to bend to his will and use his charm to pave his way. Yet, whenever Evangeline was in the picture, he couldn't help but feel too much.

In a room of more than a hundred people, feelings oozing out in polluting quantities, he realised it didn't faze him. No, because in that moment Jasper's own heart and mind swelled with overwhelming emotions, spilling over into persons nearby such as Alice. Confusion. Anger. Love. Never in his entire centuries of existence had he felt so many conflicting and overpowering sentiments, from his own doing at that. Roping in his predicament was futile; his mind ran faster than a sprinter on steroids, burning prints into his brain.

He wished it would stop, to regain some control over himself, be able to concentrate on the traumatised girl in the passenger seat. But he couldn't.

Amber burned black, teeth grinding together in volatile fury. He always had issues keeping control. Jasper Whitlock would have gone off for a ride to the middle of nowhere, perhaps would have shot at some trees. Punch a tree, even. Jasper Hale though? He was stuck. Diffusing anger would light a forest fire of pain; he could never truly get rid of the overwhelming feelings. He just had to pretend they didn't exist, invalidate his own emotions. More often than not, he would just take days off hunting in the forest. It never satiated his anguish though. Where anger flowed, bloodlust followed, like having a gun to the head. Sooner or later, bloodshed will ensue.

In the airport, thousands of people bustled around, suffocating both Jasper and Eve. Luckily for Alice's level-headed nature in chaos, she had managed to buy a few tickets in the next first-class section plane heading out of Europe. Jasper had to stop himself from finding Evangeline's domestic household in Florence, for fear he would snap her mother's neck in his frenzy of rage. He knew what her mother did to the girl; if her blood was on his hands, he could care less anymore. However, a small slither of his mind forced him not to. Evangeline should have a say in what happens to her; he couldn't ask her in as she fled the country in pyjamas. Have a heart, he couldn't just lash out because he is overwhelmed from this experience.

So instead, he focused on the shaky brunette next to him. She didn't look in his eyes not once the entire flight back to Forks. He had given her his jumper, Alice buying her some jeans prior to the departure, so she didn't feel exposed. The lavender he used to smell from her seemed distant, much like her mood. Stealing its place, he could identify traces of raspberry, vanilla intermingling with her skin and hair. Metaphorically, Eva had been washed away with this strange version of her; showing that not only had she experienced a shift in her identity, but also change in her own corporeal form.

Only one problem about focusing on Eve:

He couldn't feel any of her emotions.

Nothing.

It was as if she had been muted with a remote, not speaking, not crying, nothing. Blinking and sniffling, breathing was a given, were the only things notifying them that she was alive. Terror had washed away to numbness, apathy settling in her veins. Even her skin was as cold as the rain in winter, chilling to the bone. Au lieu to the tear that dried on her cheeks, her ivory skin gently hued a light crystal glow, nevertheless it must have been from the sun rays settling on them.