The End | {BOOK 5}

9| Take a Break

Our next case dealt with a couple of shifters. Dean was the one to find it, and we dragged Jack along with us. Dean protested that at first, making the point that we don't even bring Maddie and Zep on hunts if we can help it, so why would we bring Jack? I was quick to remind him of our conversation from the night before, which shut him up fast.

During the case, I could tell Dean started to change his mind about Jack. He actually encouraged Jack to use his powers to help stop the shifters. Or at least, one of the shifters. It turned out, one of them was good and the other bad. After the case, he actually complimented Jack on his work during the case before joining Sam and I in the library.

"Listen, guys, back at, uh, Mia's, I was out of line," he told us. "I'm sorry for being a... a dick lately."

"Thanks," Sam told him while I just nodded.

"And maybe you're right, about the kid," Dean continued. "I mean, he tries. I'll give him that. And he tapped his powers, saved our ass, so that's a win."

"Yeah, I guess," I nodded, exchanging a look with Sam.

"What's up?" Dean looked in between us.

"What if you're right?" I asked. "About my mom. What if she's dead, and I'm just in denial?"

"Don't say that."

"Why not? I've said it before."

"Yeah, but then you started listening to Sam, which was a good call," Dean insisted.

"I just... I'm trying here, guys, but..." I shook my head. "I'm not seeing much of a point anymore. I've been pretty useless during the last few hunts and..."

"Hey, don't do that," Sam was the one to speak up. "You can't start going down that road, Ellie."

"I've been going down that road, though! I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted all the time, guys. Every time I think about my mom or Cass... I... I can't do it," I shook my head, breath coming out in more and more short bursts. "All I ever want to do lately is curl up in a ball and cry, but that's not an option, so I go through the motions. But that just makes me even more exhausted and I-"

"Ellie," Dean said softly.

"I'm so done, guys," I continued, ignoring him as I continued to hyperventilate slightly. "I don't want to do it anymore."

"Ellie," Dean said a little louder.

"I've lost too much. And I know I'm not the only one who lost people that night, but seeing Crowley and Cass die and then having my mom disappear through that rift with Lucifer..."

"Ellie, stop," Dean told me.

"I don't want to live anymore, guys," I said, ignoring him. "I-"

"Ellie!"

My breath hitched in my throat as Dean grabbed onto my shoulders, staring into my eyes. His were shining with worry and unshed tears. I didn't blame him in the slightest. My little speech, although altered slightly, was almost exactly what I'd said when we were in the angel's Green Room together and I admitted that I'd already tried to kill myself before he arrived.

"Dean?"

"Breathe," he commanded, placing one of my hands over his heart and beginning slow, exaggerated breaths for me to mimic.

As I followed him, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth, I felt my pulse slow down and it became easier for me to think. Once Dean was satisfied that I'd calmed down enough, he pulled me into his arms and pressed a kiss to the top of my head before resting his cheek where his lips had been.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, also echoing our exchange from way back then. "I'm so sorry."

I felt myself break down, sobbing into his chest as he just continued to hold me.

"Ellie, you're allowed to take a step back," Sam spoke up. "Dean and I wouldn't blame you for taking a break to take care of yourself. We both just want you to be safe, and we can handle things without you for a little while."

"He's right," Dean added. "You're so loved, and you can take a You Day. Sam and I can take care of Jack, Maddie and Zep while you do. Alright?"

I took a deep breath, tears subsiding a bit as I nodded into his chest.

"Okay," I whispered.

⁘

Dean's POV

Sam and I had refrained from looking for any hunts the next day, instead dedicating the entire day to entertaining Jack, Maddie and Zep. It was really fascinating to watch my kids interacting with the Nephilim, especially when you considered the fact that he was actually younger than them, despite how much older he appeared to be. We cleared out of the Bunker for the day, allowing Ellie some time to properly relax and enjoy herself.

We ended up at a park in town, Sam and I off to the side on a bench while Maddie and Zep dragged Jack all over the playground. Josh and Lucy ended up stopping by with Connor and Libby. From the blush coloring my daughter's cheeks when she introduced Connor to Jack, I had a feeling I could be playing an overprotective Dad card sometime in the maybe not so distant future. I just hoped Libby and Zep weren't thinking along the same lines as their older brother and sister seemed to be.

Part of me was surprised at the interactions, considering both Maddie and Zep had complained on multiple occasions that they thought Connor and Libby's house was boring, and they'd rather help with hunts. I had actually been considering actually letting Maddie tag along more and training her to help a little since she was nearly ten. I hadn't brought it up with Ellie, because she was still young and I wanted to put it off as long as I possibly could, but we couldn't keep sending the kids away forever. I wanted my kids to be prepared in case something did come up and Sam, Ellie or I weren't around to protect them.

After going out to eat with Josh, Lucy, Connor and Libby, we finally decided to call it a day. Maddie and Zep immediately dragged Jack to the rec room to watch TV and Sam disappeared into his own room, probably to read some lore book or something like the nerd he was. Assuming the kids would come find one of us if they needed something, I headed to Ellie and my room to find my wife.

When I entered the room, my heart dropped in my chest.

"Ellie?" I asked hesitantly, even though I was almost certain I wouldn't get a response. "SAM!"