My Reason To Live {Under Editing}

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February Tuesday

Here I am crying over a boy I loved and thought he loved me too, but I guess I was wrong.

It's been two weeks since we broke up, and it still hurts like hell. Dean and I dated for a year, and he has been dared by his friends to date me

And to think I wanted to get married to him when I got older. I'm so stupid, I should've known better than to fall in love with the school jock

I wiped my tears away and went to take a shower for the first time in two weeks.

I finished and brushed my teeth and flossed. I got dressed into my pyjamas

I went back to my bed and silently cried until I fell asleep.

February 13 Wednesday

I later on woke feeling nauseous, so I ran to the toilet and took off my retainer before I threw up last nights dinner.

I got up and brushed my teeth and took a shower because I was sweating like crazy.

I finished showering and sat on my bed still in the towel. I took my phone to check the time and it was 02:56. I then saw that I had eight missed calls, eleven voicemails, and twenty texts from my ex. Woah.

I haven't been on my phone in a while because I was busy crying over Dean.

I had a bunch of texts from my best friend and my other friends. They were checking if I was still alive.

My best friend since middle school Alex, short for Alexander, went to New York for the holidays, and I miss him.

He insisted I came with me, but I said no, it's a family thing. Even though I'm practically family, I just don't want to annoy or bother them.

They are coming back before school opens.

I got dressed in my pyjamas and laid back in bed and tried to fall asleep but couldn't. All I could think about was Dean and his messages.

I couldn't take it, so I took my phone and listened to the first voicemail that he sent the day I broke things off.

"Hey, it's me Dean, look I just wanted to apologize about what happened. Yeah, I was dared to date you, and I later on caught feeling for you. Actually, I always loved you, I was just too scared to confess.
I love you, Devon, and I forever will please forgive me. I didn't mean what I said. Please call back."

I then played the second one

Hey, it's me, Dean, again. Look, I know you hate me, but please, can we talk? I really do love you, and I really hope you still do.

Stopped listening, and I shut my phone off.

I then got startled by a knock on the window. I checked and saw it was Dean.

"Please open the window." He asked. I know I shouldn't, but I'm stubborn and naive.

I quickly got dressed and
I opened the window and helped him in. "What do you want." I asked in a hushed tone.

"I wanted to talk. You haven't answered any of my calls or texts." He said. "I wonder why." I said sarcastically.

"Please, can we talk?" He asked. "Talk about what? Mhm, about I was just a stupid dare mhm about how you were dared to date the stupid freak!" I yelled. "Shh, you're going to wake the others up." He hushed me. "No one is home. they all went to my cousin's place." I told him.

"Oh, okay, but can we just please talk."
"We have nothing to talk about, Dean."
"Please, look I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I like you Devon, I like you a lot actually I love you and I forever will, please forgive me." He begged on the verge of tears

That was the first time he said I love you to me

"Please leave." I asked wanting to cry. "Fine." He said and jumped out of the window.

I let out a sob that quickly turned into bawling my eyes out. I took a pillow and screamed in it.

I know I'm being dramatic but I love him. I've had boyfriends in the past but I never cared for them like how I cared for Dean.

I checked the time and it was 03:40.

I got in bed and closed my eyes until I fell asleep.

I was strolling around the school hallway until I saw Dean with his lifelong bestfriend Sean and their football buddies talking

"Yo dude did you finally sleep with her?" Damon asked Dean. I obviously knew I was 'her' since I'm the only that he has slept with I think.

"Yeah and she was amazing, you wouldn't even believe she was a virgin." He said. "Bro you took her vcard lucky." Sean said with a disappointed look on his face.

"You're taking this whole dare thing a little too serious are you sure you didn't catch any feelings?" Luke asked. Wait I'm a dare? So he never felt the same way I did.

After hearing that I felt like crying but I stayed because I wanted to hear more.

"Nah bro I still can't believe she thinks I love her." He joked and his friends laughed with

Sean saw me with tears threatening to spill. "Dude." He said hitting Dean on his shoulder still looking at me. "What?" Dean asked turning around then met my gaze. "Oh no, Devon." He said and I just ran to the girls bathroom.

I then got woken up by my alarm and I noticed that I was crying.

I went to the bathroom and washed my face. I then felt like throwing up so I leant down to the toilet and threw up.

Puking takes a lot of energy.

I brushed my teeth and went to the kitchen. I made myself toast with strawberry jam.
I poured myself a glass of milk and ate my breakfast.

I washed my plate and while I was doing that I heard the doorbell ring. Who could that be?

I went to open the door and saw Sean standing there with a basket in his hands. "Hi."...