Mafia I married

25

*Amelia*

We have spent the last two weeks at the hospital. When I get too sad or tired Ezra brings me home. I haven't eaten today. Well not for many days. Ezra tries so hard to make me feel better but I don't think it can be. Nothing will ever get better.

I haven't talked much to Ezra or anyone to be honest. I'm just so empty. It's like I have nothing left. My body won't eat or talk.

My chest feels heavy, like there's a weight pressing down on it, making it hard to breathe. The tears come in waves, sometimes gentle, sometimes overwhelming, but always there, just beneath the surface. The pain is a constant, gnawing ache that nothing seems to ease.

I feel a mix of emotions, grief, anger, guilt. The grief is the hardest to bear, an all consuming sadness that leaves me feeling empty and lost. I miss their voices, their hugs, their presence. It's like a part of me has been ripped away, leaving a raw, gaping wound that refuses to heal.

Then there's the anger, a burning fury at the unfairness of it all. Why did this happen to them? To us? I want to scream at the universe, demand answers, but all I get is silence. The world keeps turning, indifferent to my pain, and that makes the anger flare even hotter.

Guilt is the shadow that follows me everywhere. Guilt for the things I said, for the things I didn't say. For how I couldn't protect them. I wish I could go back, do things differently. But I can't. They're gone, and all I'm left with are the regrets.

I try to find solace in memories, but even those feel tainted now. Happy moments are bittersweet, a reminder of what I've lost. I cling to them anyway, afraid of forgetting, of losing even the smallest piece of them.

For now, all I can do is take it one day at a time, letting myself feel the pain, the anger, the guilt. Hoping that, eventually, the tears will stop and the weight on my chest will lift, even if just a little.

I'm in bed right now and Ezra knocks on the door. He steps in with a plate in his hand. He has brought me food these past two weeks even if I don't eat it he brings it every morning, lunch and dinner. "Morning love" he says putting the plate on the bedside table. I give him a smile as he takes a seat beside me.

He moves his hand to my face and gently rub his thumb on my cheek. I close my eyes to take in his touch. "Feeling any better?" He asks. I don't answer meaning no. "I brought you breakfast" he says smiling. "Thank you but I'm not hungry" I mumble.

"Amelia please you almost haven't eaten in two weeks" he says. He worries so much for me. How have I been so lucky. "It never gets easier Ezra" I say a tear rolling down my face. "Just because you hide your happiness and hope behind your sadness doesn't mean it can't come back love, it will get easier it just takes time" he says as I give him a nod.

I love him. I can't say it that yet but it's the truth.
I've never loved anyone like this before. Even at my worst he doesn't give up on me. I watch him deep in his eyes giving him a gentle smile. His face softens as I take the bread on the plate and eat it. He then gives me a kiss on my forehead. "Alex will be staying here until he gets better" Ezra says. I know how much he hates having people at the house but does it just for me.

"Thank you" I say taking his hand and squeezing it.

I get ready to go see Alex at the hospital. We leave in an hour. Ezra waits outside as I step into the room. Alex's lays on the hospital bed awake. I run up to hug him. "Thank god you're okey" I say. He knows about Eloise and mom. He's been feeling as terrible as I have but stays strong when I'm in here.

"How are you feeling" I ask pulling away from the hug and taking a seat on the chair beside the bed. "Better" he answers not wanting to look me in the eyes. "How are you" he then asks back. And I try to smile but fail. "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect them" he says now crying. He blames himself for it all. "No no Alex stop it isn't your fault." I say taking his hand. "If I had just..." he says and I pause him. "You couldn't have done anything differently, you were shot too" I say making him know that it isn't his fault.

"I'm fucking killing that man as soon as I get out of here" he says with so much anger inside. For the longest time we have not gone near to killing father because he said that if we do he would haunt this family. He swore to kill all of us if we ever did anything to him so we never dared touch him. But now that mom and Eloise is...
I get Alex, I want father to suffer for what he has done, but it's like he's untouchable.
I don't want to lose Alex too.
We would be killed as soon as we got close to him. And I would rather stay out of it than risking our lives.

"How did it happen?" I ask because he never told me. He sighs wanting to forget it all.
"He was mad about something, I believe he lost a lot of money. The whole day father was extra angry. I've never seen him with such rage. When mom refused having sex he forced her to" he pauses taking a deep breath.
"Eloise and I heard everything, how mom cried. It was awful. I couldn't stand it anymore so I kicked the door open and pushed him off. That's when everything got worse." He says. I cry and I don't want to hear more of it. I can't take it.

"You did everything you could." I say. We sit there quiet for a moment.

"Well they are letting you out today and Ezra said you could stay with us" I say as alex gives me a stare of disbelief. "Did Ezra say that" he says thinking I lied. "I promise he was the one who told me today" I say smiling.

"Well he's doing it just for you not because he cares for me" alex says. "Hey he does care" I say and I know It's hard to believe but I think somewhere deep inside he does care for him.
"I'll get your room ready and we will leave at lunch." I say.

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