'𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐈 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐁𝐄 𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐄, 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔.'
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Even if every memory from 1917 comes roaring back to you, being a former Hydra assassin means you can never get a break. Since Beverly is on a mission of redemption, she respo...
The past year of Bucky and my life has been a dream come true. I truly couldn't have asked for a more perfect life. Even though Steve hasn't been able to visit all that much, we have seen each other occasionally, and when we do, we soak up every second together. He tells us about his work back in New York, and we tell him about our time in Wakanda. There is so much to tell him about. Something new occurs every day. It is chaotic, but wonderful chaos.
Not much has changed since we last spoke, although Bucky and I were allowed to move out of our rooms in the castle and into a hut together in the mountains a few months ago. It was a little hectic getting all our items from the castle and all the way into the hut, but it was worth it. We have more privacy, and Bucky is able to start doing things that he enjoys more often. I never knew Bucky enjoyed farming, but every morning I watch him feed the horses, and plant new seeds into the soil. I love watching his muscles work in the hot sun. It is one of the highlights of my morning. The other is waking up next to him.
Right now, Bucky is inside the hut and I am crouched down beside the lake at the bottom of the mountain, not too far from the hut. I'm watching all the children running around beside me, playing a game. Recently, children have been showing up by the lake in the morning, running around it and playing together. I think they used to do it more often before we moved into the hut, took a break when they realised we were here, and have now claimed their spot back. I don't mind it though. I enjoy watching them laughing, running around, and talking. It gives me hope for the future.
One of the children stops playing with the others and decides to walk towards me. She sits down next to me, facing the lake. I follow suit, feeling my knees weakening for the long time I have been crouched for. I may look like I'm in my twenties, but I have the knees of a 100-year-old lady. Because I am.
"Can I ask you something, please?" She asks.
"Yeah, of course." I smile.
"I've been told not to ask it though." She looks at me.
"Uh, okay."
"What happened before you came here?" She questions.
My body stiffens at her words, anxiety shooting through my body. She doesn't notice the change in my form, me being very good at masking it, and she smiles up at me. I plaster a fake smile onto my face, not wanting her to feel guilty. She doesn't know what she is doing, she is too young and naive.
"Uh, well, why do you want to know?" I try not to sound rude.
"All my friends and family are fascinated by you and the other man."
"Fascinated?" I raise my eyebrows.
"No one knows that much about you two."
"Oh, okay. Well, we were both born a long time ago. We were able to grow up, but then, we had to go to a special place. They were mean to us, and made us do things that we didn't want to do." I sugarcoat it. "They gave us parts of ourselves that we didn't want."
"His metal arm?"
"Yeah."
"What did they give you?" She asks.
"Powers."
"Powers! That's so cool!" She exclaims.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah! Can you show me them please?" She questions.
I stare at her for a few seconds, pondering if I should show her. I don't want to scare her, but she seems interested. She doesn't look nervous, worried, or anxious. But, I am. I can control my powers, but I don't want to get carried away with them. I take a deep breath, showing her my hand. My palm faces the lake, my eyes narrowing as I look at the water. A small ripple appears in the lake, expanding quickly and fizzling out.
"Wow! That was so cool." She stands up and faces the other children. "Guys! Come over here!"
All the other kids follow her instructions, circling around me. They all watch intently, their gaze making me slightly nervous. I place my palm in the air, my palm facing the sky, and the other hand mirroring it, hovering above. I sway my fingers, becking over the water into my hands. I shapeshift the water into a small fish, it swimming in between my hands. The children are in awe over my powers, watching me push the fish into the lake and swim away.
"Thank you." The girl smiles before running away with the other children.
"You're welcome."
I turn to watch them walk away, but my eyes focus on Bucky. He is standing behind us, a wide smile on his face. He was watching us the entire time. I stand from beside the lake, walking over to him. When I make it to him, I stand beside him, he wraps his arm around my shoulder. The smile never falters on his face.
"It's good to see you so comfortable. You can be around children and use your powers. I'm proud of you." He kisses the temple of my head.
"She was really nice."
"She's a good kid."
I wrap my arm around his waist, getting closer to him in the hug. He places his chin on top of my head, both of us looking out into the lake. The children around us are still playing, their screaming, laughing, and talking can be heard clearly. I occasionally look over at them, the smile on my face uncontrollable.
"Do you still want to have kids one day?" He asks.
Guilt swarms into my body, making me stiffen in his hold. He notices the change in my form and looks down at me with concern. I can't make eye contact with him, and I hate that. Bucky was always the first person I could tell anything to, and now, I'm nervous to even look at his face. I build up enough courage to look into his eyes, but when I do, I instantly regret it. His eyes are filled with pity, and he doesn't even know what for yet.
"Bucky," I hesitate. "I can't."
"What do you mean?"
"When I went to the Red Room, they experimented on all the girls. They took away my..." My sobs get stuck in my throat.
"Oh, B." He pulls me back into a hug.
I cry into his chest, feeling my rubbing his hand up and down my back, soothing me. It is comforting until the memories come flooding back and more tears fall down my cheeks. Sometimes, the memories that I gained back are a blessing and a curse.
"Look at me, baby." He grabs my face in between his hands. "I don't need to have kids just to be happy. Having you beside me, living in our own house, and us trying to get old despite the serum running through our veins is all I need. I love you, B."
