Battle of Fear and Trust

The Nightmare

Snowy white mist the idea of wetness across my cheeks. I look down, feeling a rocking, skidding motion, to find that I'm riding a sleigh. The mountains in the distance are ones I've seen in Narnia. There's snow everywhere, piled high against the pine tree that surrounds me. It must be winter. It reminds me of the first time we came to Narina, but I don't remember riding sleighs during our first adventure. I noticed a young boy sitting at the bottom of the sleigh. He is dirty and shivering, cutting a small, hopeless figure in the wintery landscape.

Edmund? What's he doing here? He looks exactly like he did when we first came to That Place, even his clothes look the same. He's giving me a disappointing look, as though I promised him a favorite dessert but didn't give it to him. Although that is not what concerns me. I see bags under his eyes and I can see snow on his shoulders as he shivers in the cold.

Why isn't he wearing a coat? He knows better than to go on a sleigh ride without one. Then again, why am I letting him go out in this weather without a coat? My little brother suffers in the cold and I just sit there. As a black Dwarf in a red cap drives the sleigh. Wait, I know that Dwarf. I re-examine the white sleigh and see The Witch's wand in my hand, or should I say Jadis's hand, for I'm not the one riding with Edmund. Oh, anything but this, I think in horror, it was bad enough to worry about what happened to Edmund when he was with the Witch. Now I have to see it through her eyes. Snow falls on Edmund. Poor Ed! I wish I could help. Oh, I wish I could get this witch out of my head and stop seeing her memories.

In the distance, I hear the howling of wolves. The snow has turned to slush, forcing the sleigh to come to a stop. "What's the problem? Why aren't we moving?" I hear her voice, harsh as the winter wind, come from my lips.

"Your Majesty, your winter has melted. We can't get the sleigh through this slush." The dwarf informs her.

"Then we must walk. Tie the hand of the human creature and hold onto the end of the rope. And bring the whip!" Whip? No! We leave the sleigh behind and start walking. I watch as Ed's hands are tied behind his back and the Dwarf cracks his whip on my little brother's back. No! Edmund starts walking and can tell by the way he's moving that he is already exhausted; he can't go much longer without rest. Please stop, I thought desperately, try to force my-her body to be still, but I had no control. We just keep going.

The Dwarf cracks his whip again to force Edmund to walk faster in front of us. I wish I could get him to stop, but all I can do is watch him through her cold eyes. The dwarf whips him again as the voice shouts, "Faster, you fool!" The worst part is that it seems as though I am the one saying those cruel words and I'm the one who told the dwarf to whip him, but no matter how loud I cry out for the dwarf to stop or try to move in between. There's nothing I can do to stop that dwarf from giving my brother another slash with his whip. I can only watch helplessly as the back of Edmund's shirt is stained with his own blood.

When we reach her camp, Edmund screams as he falls to the ground. Then he stops moving altogether. He looks so broken, and it is as though he lost his will to resist anything else the Witch would throw at him. "Tie the human creature to that tree, we'll deal with it later," she says, and the Dwarf drags Edmund like he is a dead animal. Why can't I wake up?

The dream shifts to a new scene. Now I'm in a battle taking down my beloved Narnians and turning them into stone with the cold and silver wand I've been holding. The very feel of it seems like ice. Stop. I watch a stone statue crumble into a million pieces. I can't take it anymore! I see Peter come into view and I'm forced to walk toward him. NO! Please, let me wake up! Stop this! She's about to reach him when Edmund jumps in front of me with determination in his eyes. I charge at him with the wand as he jumps back and destroys it with his sword. It isn't over yet though and I watch myself thrust the broken wand into his stomach and I see the life drain from his eyes as he falls to the ground.