Battle of Fear and Trust

A Cold lie or a Cold Truth

I sit on the couch in the family room watching the snowfall outside. My dad, Eustace, and my siblings are decorating the tree for the holiday while singing Carols. They really seem to be having a wonderful time and why shouldn't they be? Christmas is only a few days away. It has always been a wonderful time for us.

But even the simple thought of Christmas sends shivers down my spine making it unbearable to celebrate. It must be because of my unwanted guest. Although she hasn't done anything to hurt my family, and she may have had a part in getting me to sit with my new friends who took me to those wonderful parties. I smile just thinking about them. I always knew those parties would be exciting, but I didn't know they were going to be so delightful or how much they would make me feel like royalty again, not to mention how lovely I looked.

Maybe having Jadis in my head isn't so bad. I smile to myself before looking back at my family. Oh, what am I thinking? She's the White Witch, the one who hurt so many Narnians and almost killed Edmund! And the one that destroyed her own world just so she wouldn't lose her throne to her sister!

"But I also helped you gain that exciting life and the only one who has any interest in giving you everything you desire."

No, I'm not taking anything from you. It was my choice to be friends with Cindy.

Jadis lets out a chilling laugh, "You really think she would have paid you any mind if I wasn't here to guide you?"

"Hey Su, are you sure you don't want to help us decorate the tree?" Peter asks, breaking me away from Jadis's voice. I look at the half-decorated tree and my head starts to spin.

"Yes, I'm not really in the mood." I turn back to the window at the snow-covered yard.

"But you always love decorating the tree and you haven't celebrated with us at all this year," Lucy says. I take a deep breath, she is right, I've always loved decorating for Christmas, especially in the other world. I remember decorating the ballroom in Cair Paravel with holly and red ribbons and I loved the way the silver and gold ornaments lit up. Christmas was truly magical in that world. Here, it's starting to seem like just another holiday.

"Lucy, if Susan wants to be an Ebenezer Scrooge this year, then let her, although you might want to sleep down here on Christmas Eve," said Edmund, and I shake my head, ignoring his comment.

"Who's Ebenezer Scrooge?" Eustace asks.

"He's a character in a famous novel by Charles Dickens 'A Christmas Carol'. Scrooge is a bitter old man who spent his life becoming rich and miserly until tree ghosts visited him and taught him a lesson." Dad continues to expand the plot to Eustace, but I tune it out. Although, the idea of someone having wealth and being bitter doesn't really make sense. After all, Cindy and my other friends are all rich, they seem happy, and we were never bitter in the other world. If anything, we were happier there. Why did He send us back here, didn't He see we were happy there?

"What makes you so sure he cared about your happiness at all?"

"We have a copy of the book somewhere, you can read it if you like, although I know my sister would scold me for letting you read a ghost story," Dad says, and I turn back to them. It's best not to dwell on Jadis's words.

"She would scold for letting him read for any book that wasn't full useless facts, that's what she did to me and Lucy," Edmund says

"I'll have a talk with her when she and Harold get back from shopping." Dad sighs.

"David," I hear Mum say as she enters the room. "Could you help me with something in the kitchen?"

"Of course, dear," he says after putting an ornament on the tree. "I'll be right back, kids. Don't put the star on without me!"