Battle of Fear and Trust

Voice of Truth

I stare at the sharp object lying on the table. I put my hand on my chest feeling my cold heart pound as I picture the pain I'll feel once I've put that knife through me. I stand and take a few short breaths thinking about it. But then again it won't be as painful as knowing that the ones I love have been taken away.

"You won't win Susan; I'll just finish freezing your heart as you bleed out and once, I have control my strength will cause your wound to feel like nothing. You won't get rid of me." Jadis says calmly knowing that I don't have a chance as I walk towards the table.

"Then I'll make sure to pierce my heart and die before you have a chance to take over." I say in a shaky voice as I get closer to the table. I know once I do this that I'll be gone just like my family. A tear runs down my frozen cheek as I picture my brothers' broken faces as they lie still on the floor of the train station. I feel my sister's cold hand in mine as I see the shell of what used to be my baby sister. My parents' faces are stone cold, the Professor, Aunt Polly, my cousin, and... and... oh I wish I'd bothered to learn her name. Not that it matters anymore. It only matters that I get rid of the Witch.

"Do you really believe that once you taken your own life, I'll leave? Your body will be gone but we'll both end up in the same place."

If there are places where the dead live on, then Jadis is right, and I won't reunite with my family, since they're probably in some kind of paradise. But after everything I've done and all the people I hurt, I don't deserve, wherever I'm going can't be any worse than being a prisoner in my own body while she conquers this world.

Maybe getting rid of the witch from my mind isn't the only reason I should do this. Once Jadis takes over she'll claim this world as her own. She'll reach out to those with great authority as well as those who think they deserve more and offer her false promises, turning families and loved ones against each other. She'll put herself above them all and those people will be blinded by their desires and see her as their god.

Of course, there will be some who will try to stop her, and there will be another great war. One so deadly it will make the last war look like nothing. Sons and fathers will fight with their every breath, while their mothers and sisters lie on their beds, crying as they pray for safe returns. Children will be sent away, bombs will fall, buildings will burn, and rivers will run with the blood of brave soldiers. Then she'll find a way to get a hold of this world's most powerful weapons, showing everyone that she is the one to be feared. Everyone will be her slave and she'll destroy those who resist her.

So, I have to do this, not for myself, but for this world. I reach the table and look down at the knife. My hands shake as I grab the handle and study the sharp blade. It shouldn't be hard for this to go through my heart. I tell myself before going down on my knees holding the knife with both hands and pointing it to my chest.

I have to do this. I feel tears running down my cheeks. It's the only way to stop her. My hands shake and I can barely breathe. Just a few inches and it will all be over. I tell myself drawing the blade closer and close my eyes before it touches my skin. Finally, my mind will be free, and she'll be gone for good. I feel the tip of the blade on my dress and I get ready to plunge it into my body.

Thud.

I open my eyes, turning towards the sound. Strange, I thought I was the only one in here. I move the knife away from me and stand up. I move silently towards the front of the sanctuary and see a book on the floor. I guess it fell off the pulpit.

Squeak, squeak.

I turn to a cross, which seems to be where the second sound is coming from. Looking down, I see a tiny creature at the base of the cross. It's just a mouse. I tell myself when the knife slips from my hand and onto the floor. The sound startles the mouse and I watch as it runs away, or at least tries to. For some reason, the mouse seems to stumble over itself, in a very odd way. Getting closer to it, I gasp when I notice the rear end of the mouse.