Battle of Fear and Trust

Mind Games

I look out my window and watch as Peter and Edmund walk down the street. I close my eyes as a tear freezes to my face. I take a deep breath, wishing they could have stayed here with me, but they need to get to the station. They'll be safe there; I tell myself trying to ease my sorrow.

"For now." Jadis says coldly, as I grow tense. "You know, Susan, I really thought you'd be of great use to me, but I guess disobedience is a family trait," she added, as I take another breath feeling both anger and fear at the sound of her voice.

"You lied to me, you made me believe my family was against me!" I say angrily, holding back my frozen tears as I continue to feel her cold presence.

"I told you they wanted nothing more than to make you a pawn in the Lion's game. Is that not what they tried to do before you made them leave?" She has a point. My brothers were keen on getting me to the lion.

"No! I'm done taking any more advice from you. You are not tricking me again." I tell her, my recently thawed hear pounding with every word. No matter what she says, I promise myself, I will never let her freeze my heart again!

"Do you want to go back to being the weak girl you were before?" She says smoothly, though I can still hear the anger in her voice. I move away from the window to stand in the middle of my flat.

"I'd rather that, than being nothing but the voice of that weak girl!" I say, wanting her to know my anger. "I spent seven years chasing the idea of being a true queen. You made me believe that I was the most beautiful woman in London and everyone else was supposed to gravel at my feet. I wasted time with parties and men thinking they would make me feel whole. Instead, I woke up feeling miserable and wondering what was missing. Then I saw the hurt in my brothers' faces and now I know I could have spent seven years celebrating birthdays and holidays or evenings laughing with them. But thanks to you, I missed all those moments! I even missed Peter's wedding because of you!"

"You know what happen to those who go against me"

"I know want to scare me into giving you control, and I won't let you win!" I yell in my shaky voice.

"Didn't you just tell the little king he could not defeat me? You really think you can stop me?" I take short breaths as her words echo through my mind.

"I'll do whatever it takes to keep you ba-!" I yell as my head starts to pound, causing me to sink to my knees.

"You've forgotten Susan, that what I am doing now is mild compared to what I could still do to you. Once your brothers return and I get my hands on them, nobody can stop me," she whispers as my headache grows. I glance at the clock, which reads eleven fifty-five. By now they'll be at the station. Where they're out of harm's way, I remind myself. As long as I can keep focused on something, I might be able to keep her back. I can't let her have control; I can't let her hurt my family.

"I know all of your fears Susan and I can make you relive them all," Jadis' voice echoes as memories of sirens and explosions fill my mind. I can see myself hiding in bomb shelter holding on to Lucy as I wondered if my home was still standing.

Crash!

I turn to the window. That explosion sounded like it came from outside. I didn't realize her mind games were this powerful, but it doesn't matter what she does. I won't let her hurt my family.

"I'm sure you remember what the fear is like; knowing that your home could be gone at any moment, before any of your family had the chance to make it to safety. Even when you and your siblings were safe in that old man's mansion, your mother was still there while your father was in the middle of a war. I'm sure you didn't like not knowing what was happening to your parents." Jadis says taking joy in the sound of my cries.