Battle of Fear and Trust

Friendly' Conversations

Maybe I will stay for lunch.
After all, there's nothing they can do to stop me from living my life, and it will be fun to see how Peter acts around Nancy. I smile as I watch Peter take a seat next to Nancy, and look like he is deep in his own thoughts. I'm sure he's thinking about how he'll have to end his relationship with the traitor because he knows he can't share that world with her. Not that I understand why he would want to share that world in the first place.

"Is everything alright?" Nancy asks Peter quietly, but still loud enough for me to hear.

He looks at me for a moment then turns to Nancy. "It's nothing," I hear him whisper back.

In the corner of my eye, I see Father's hand open for me to take a hold of. Unfortunately, staying here means that I must endure their prayers. "Susan, it's not going to kill you to pray with us," Dad tells me. I roll my eyes before I let him and Edmund take a hold of my hands, though I might have to disagree about it not killing me.

Because every time they pray, I feel like a part of me is shivering with coldness and yet I feel something warm trying to break through the ice. It's quite unbearable and lately, I've been afraid of that, the warmth, but deep down there's a part of me that longs for it. Almost like my body's being torn into two parts, I'm not sure what to do, and Edmund squeezing my hand isn't helping any. Luckily it only lasts a few minutes.

"Edmund, would you stop squeezing my hand," I ask him quietly after we've started eating.

"I did," he says calmly, before going back to his meal. I want to tell him not to squeeze my hand so hard next time, but that implies that I will join them for prayer again.

"So, Nancy, does your family live in Oxford Now?" Mother asks Nancy as we start eating.

"No, they actually live in Aylesbury. I live in Oxford and I'm going to school at St Anne's Society. I'm studying to be a teacher." Nancy tells them, and I can tell my parents are impressed with her. Not that there's anything impressive about her.

"You know she's only trying to find a way back into your life. After all, your brother isn't the only one trying to get you back under their control." Jadis tells me and I think back to how Nancy tried stopping me from going out with Cindy and the other girls to that first party. How she couldn't stand the fact that I was more than just some schoolgirl.

Imagine how much more fun it will be when Peter breaks her heart, I tell the queen, picturing tears falling from that traitor's face when Peter gives her little to no explanation of why they can't be together. The thought makes my smile grow, or it should, but instead, the idea makes my heart sink and my stomach turn. Maybe I should just let them be. They do seem happy with each other.

"Don't forget, they're the ones who wronged you. They deserve to be torn apart."

Right, I tell her before turning my attention back to their conversation.

"Peter and I ran into each other at a Library between our two schools. I was looking for a specific book on Greek Mythology and had searched for hours through the card catalogue to locate it. But when I got to the shelf, it was missing! I look up, and who see?" Nancy nudges Peter, who is grinning sheepishly, "Peter Pevensie, and not only that but reading the exact book I needed!" she says while giving Peter the same annoying smile.

"After she checked out the book, we went to a small Café and ended up talking for hours," Peter adds smiling, though I'm sure he's trying not to think about what I said.

"That's wonderful, you make a lovely couple," Lucy says.

"I'm happy for the two of you as well. You're an adorable couple, I can't think of anything that could stand in your way," I say with a mischievous smile towards Peter, and I can see the anger on his face. This should show him he can't forget what I said.