Every Thug needs a Thuggette - Thug love story

Chapter 22

Zy'Keiyah POV

I held the gun I found in the closet straight on my skull .. I was so done with everything and everybody. Just life itself.

I've thought of so many things in my life that has happened, the previous boyfriends my mom has brought home, the almost getting molested, the constant questions about Jordan if he was mine.

Then I felt tears coming down, I was being selfish. Maybe I should leave a note,a letter, something,anything to let them know that it wasn't their faults.

And King.. We were finally getting on to something, and then white lady came to my life. I hated this but shit happens. And I was done with it.

I held the notepad as I began write..

"I hope you all read this, I hope you all know that I never gave up on you all. I gave up on myself .. To the minimum amount of people that did care about me, I love you dearly.
I know that Black didn't care me & he only used me for my innocence, I regret that I gave myself to him.. because looking in the mirror I see my mom. I see her soul in me, I really hope that you all keep Jordan safe, please kianna. Remember me as the bubbly girl who laughed with you, was your shoulder to cry on,parties, making the most of life. Don't ever forget any memory we shared because I will never forget you. Please get out of Atlanta because you're so much more than these streets of the projects. I could say I was this happy girl, but I never was. I was lonely. I was independent. And I was hurt.
Tell Jordan I love him, tell him that I tried. I breathed everyday for him. I went as long as I could but I could do no more. Keep him with Mrs.Greene for me, she knows how to cook& protect. Keep him safe and educated. Keep his head in the books for me.
And King, gosh I know you're older then me but I hope you keep my love with you.. I bless you for the best, stay out of those streets, please. Just quit it. You're better than what everybody knows you to be because I really knew you King and it was someone totally different. Go do something with you're life because the cold, heartless nigga wears out in a few years & you'll be 6 feet under or behind bars. I love you so much. And I just want what's best for you. I love you all.. please don't lie to Jordan let him I wasnt there for him."

Tears fell so quickly as I began to loose control I dropped the book on my bed, and I looked at the mirror again before I my finger slightly grazed over the trigger.

Did I really want to go out like this?