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Normani
To say that it's been easy, would be a lie.
Lauren and Ryan have resorted to staying over to help me out and keep me from shutting all the way down.
We've spent the day basically in bed watching some reruns of old tv shows. I started zoning out when That 70's Show came on and the after that nothing on my mind. Just my Megan.
I miss my baby. I miss annoying her while she cooks for us. Randomly laying on her all the time. I miss talking to her about nothing and her just staring at me as if I were the most beautiful thing ever. I miss her kissing me everywhere but my lips sometimes.
Her presence is so missed.
"Mani..."
Lauren hands me a tissue for my eyes. I just can't stop crying.
What am I gonna do without my baby by my side? I'm not even an emotional person by nature. Not even Joshua has made me cry, but Megan has me absolutely reduced to shambles. I'm praying that I don't lose her in all of this.
"Normani." It's Ryan speaking up. "Teyana is pulling into the driveway. This is all I'm gonna say. Don't let it swallow you."
"Ryan, since when do you care?" It just comes out
She's been very hushed and distant since Megan arrived. In a way I understand. She's an older sister to me, so she was trying to be protective, especially so I wouldn't be in legal troubles. But I also felt as though she took it more personal because she took my love for Megan as me replacing her. When I never replaced her.
I'll always wanna hang out with Ryan, we grew up together. Everyone always mentions how we're like Yin and Yang. I've told Megan also as soon as I noticed it. Neither of us could figure out what I could do to help the situation.
"Hey, no. It's not the time." Lauren starts trying to put herself between us.
"No, really... since when do you give a fuck about Megan? She hasn't done nothing for you. She's been courteous with you, trying to do the most so that you can at least drop the rude looks. And you suddenly all happy and ready to help when she's gone?!" I sit up and get louder, my voice cracking. "Ryan, are you kidding me? You must be smoking the most potent blunt right now if you think I'm suddenly gonna want your help, and I--"
"Oh Normani, shut the hell up!"
"Nigga what-"
Ryan starts getting closer to me and we all know this won't end in a healthy way.
It starts getting hot all around me like I'm running a horrible fever. I just can't believe someone so close to me has grown so distant. I've never once pushed her away.
