Mads POV
Camp has been so chaotic since Chiron got called away for some mission and Mr. D , was MIA too , so that left us demigods on our own and the head councillors of each cabin in charge."Don't destroy Half-Blood while we're gone," was Chiron's parting instruction quite a simple request I'd say.
We went about our usual routines—combat practice, volleyball practice, archery practice, strawberry-picking practice (don't ask), lava-wall-climbing practice....You'll find we practice a lot here. We would have spent the evening in the usual way, too, with a campfire sing-along, if not for an offhand comment Nico di Angelo dropped at dinner. We were talking about what changes each of us would make if we ran the camp, and Nico said:
"First thing I'd do is make sure the poor newbie demigods don't have to suffer through the orientation film."
All conversation stopped. "What orientation film?" Will Solace asked.
Nico looked puzzled. "You know...." He glanced side to side, clearly uncomfortable with everybody watching him. Finally he cleared his throat and sang in a warbly voice to the tune of "The Hokey Pokey": "It lets the demigods in! It shuts the monsters out! It keeps the half-bloods safe, but turns mortals all about! It's Misty, and it's magic, and it makes me want to shout: the border is all about!" He punctuated the last line of the song with some halfhearted claps.
Jasper punched me in the shoulder when I stared to laugh Everyone else was starting at him is silence or trying I hold in their laughter
"Nico." Will patted his boyfriend's arm. "You're scaring the other campers."
"More than usual," I said muttered under my breath.
"Oh, come on," Nico protested. "You've all heard that annoying song, right? It's from Welcome to Camp Half-Blood."Nobody responded."The orientation film," Nico added.
We shared a group shrug.
Nico groaned. "You mean I just sang in public and...I'm the only one who's ever seen that stupid film?
"Only one So far" Nicola said. He leaned forward, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Where, exactly, did you see this cinematic masterpiece?"
"Chiron's office in the Big House," Nico replied. Nicola pushed back from the table and stood up."Where are you going?" Will asked."Chiron's office in the Big House." He replied sarcastically "Nicola...Chiron's office is locked.trust me" I said getting up to go with him. "Is it?" Nicola laced his fingers together and cracked his knuckles. "We'll see about that." He turned to Harley "Want to come with? I might need help with the projector."
"A projectile! Yes!" Harley pumped his fist. "A projector," I corrected. "And you can't make it do anything but show the movie. No exploding upgrades. No turning it into a killer robot." "Aww..." Harley scowled in disappointment, but he followed Us to the Big House.
Will glanced at Nico. "Now look what you've started."He snorted. "This is my fault? What do you want me to do—stop them?" "Stop them?" He grinned. "Nah, man. I think we should get some popcorn ready." I laughed as we walked away towards the big house this was gonna be fun.
Once we got to the big house I went up first to try and pick the lock I'd never done it before but I tried. It was a few minutes and I was scared that even if we got in that there'd be some like magic curse or something that would hit us for sneaking into Chirons office. I turned the doorknob and almost jumped when it opened but it wasn't me who's unlocked it Harley had gone around back and climbed trough the office window "let me have this one thing" I said in defeat "never" he responded Nicola let out a chuckle before pushing past me into the office. "We probably should have brought Nico considering he's the only one who's seen it." I said out loud well looking trough the desk drawers.
After about 10 minutes I heard Nicola yell very excitedly "Found it!" Holding up a projector that had a film already in it. After years of younger siblings asking for help finding lost things he'd gotten pretty good at finding things. "Don't let him touch it" Nicola said eyeing Harley then he handed me the projector. "Let's get out before we break something" I said heading towards the door. We headed towards the amphitheater to set up the movie it was a small group only 3 cabins the Apollo kids, the Hades kids and some of the Hephaestus kids. We sat down and I turned to Nicola "so what snacks do we have for this" I asked "oooo I'll go get some" he said almost jumping out of his seat.
I tried to help Harley and Leo set up the projector but didn't really know what to do so just let them. Eventually Nicola came back with a bag full of snacks I immediately stole the sour patch kids and sat back down to wait for the show to start. I figured the movie would be a typical orientation flick you know a monotone voiceover a tour of the campgrounds happy demigods going about their business, trying to pretend the cameras didn't exist.
Then the opening credits rolled.
"Uh-oh," I muttered. "This is going to be...interesting."
It turned out the creative genius behind the movie was my dad—the god Apollo, which meant this was not going to be a typical orientation film. No as we soon found out Apollo had written, directed, produced, hosted, and starred in...a variety show.
For those of you who don't know what a variety show is, imagine a talent show on steroids, complete with canned laughter, prerecorded applause, and an extra-large helping of hokeyness. For the next hour, we cringe-watched as Apollo and our demigod predecessors performed in song-and-dance numbers, recited poetry, acted in comedy sketches, and harmonized in a musical group called the Lyre Choir. Naturally, Apollo featured prominently in most of the acts.
The one of him Hula-Hooping shirtless while satyrs capered around with long rainbow ribbons on sticks...you can't unsee that kind of thing. Everyone who was not dying of embarrassment was laughing their asses off and they even paused the film to make it worse. I scanned the group to see the looks of horror and embarrassment on my siblings faces. "I think you should recreate this" Leo said to Nicola who was already burying his face in his knees "Of fuck off" he mumbled smacking him in the face which did not help everyone laughing at us. They were about to keep playing the film when I heard a kid whistle "what are we watching" I turned and it was Phee and Bea smiling they must really be enjoying this and are never going to let any of us forget it. "Oh shut it you two" Jasper yelled at them.
They went and sat down stealing some kids popcorn as they passed then they clicked play and we kept watching I just hoped that was the worse of it. Still, I get what Apollo was going for. Each number highlighted something important about Camp Half-Blood—the cabins, the training arenas, the Big House, et cetera, et cetera. The trouble is, Apollo didn't seem to know much about the camp.
According to Valentina who'd also come to watch the show. the hairstyles and fashions, the movie dated from the 1950s, so maybe the film accurately depicted what Camp Half-Blood was like back then. If so, yikes.
After seeing Apollo's film, we decided we wanted to make an alternative film. We needed to offer our incoming demigods something modern to welcome them to camp. We wanted to keep the old one half because we wanted campers to have the opportunity to know what camp was like then and half because the other campers wouldn't let us get ride of it.
If you're actually a new camper the orientation film won't really help you much no mater who made it what will help you is the other campers. Oh, the stories we'll tell and the secrets you'll learn...though I promise you, never will anyone sing and dance with a Hula-Hoop here. Actually I can't promise that.
A/N Phee and Bea I'm watching you BEHAVE.
