Home [Shawn Hunter]

ease my mind

I wake up, not remembering I fell asleep. I sit up shielding the blinding sun with my hand and I notice bruising on my wrist from where my dad grabbed me last night. I sigh, roll my eyes and get out of bed.

My mom is running errands and dad went off to work around 5:30 today so I have the morning to myself which I really enjoy. I get dressed in a white long sleeve and I put on a pair of Shawn's old jeans he grew out of that fit me perfectly, my Doc Martens, and I throw Shawn's leather jacket on. I love Shawn's clothes, especially when they still smell like him.

I smile as I admire his jacket in the mirror, I love him so much.

"Hi gorgeous girl." Shawn says as he crawls into my room from the window, coming behind me and kissing my neck and jaw. "Hi, Shawny." I smile and put my hand on his cheek. "How was Cory's?" I turn in his arms to face him, "It was good, I ate breakfast today." I smile, "Good, I'm glad you finally can have three steady meals a day." "Yeah, it's pretty nice. Cory's mom keeps labeling everything I touch with a big S though, it's making me really uncomfortable like they don't want my trailer park germs or something. Oh and Eric is going nuts over these SATs, his lucky towel, his lucky soap, his lucky pencil!" Shawn leans against my bed frame and fixes his hair. "Oh! The jeans you like," he starts, "the ripped ones?" I ask, "Yeah, guess what? Patched up. Cory's mom patched them up!" He rants

"I'm sorry honey," I say as I get in between his legs leaning against him, playing with the rings on his hand, he wraps his free arm around my waist firmly, "Wanna skip?" He looks at me, "I wish, my dad would kill me." I hold his face, "Can your mom cover for us again?" He holds my waist, "Shawny, I hate to break it to you but my mom was drunk and she had clear liquor so she was somewhat decent. She's not like that at all." I put on my backpack, "Your mom drinks?" Shawn asks in shock, taking my backpack from me and putting it on his spare shoulder.

I sigh and walk downstairs, Shawn follows, "Yeah, behind closed doors the Young's are full of surprises. My dad doesn't let the public know how flawed we truly are." I roll my eyes and walk outside, Shawn closes and locks my front door. "So we aren't that different after all?" He wraps his arm around my neck, "I told you Shawny, we're meant to be." I kiss him quickly and gently.

++
School goes by in a blur, I've had the most pounding headache all day and Shawn has been really upset and avoiding Cory. Shawn really doesn't like how Cory's parents are treating him but Shawn told me not to get involved, so I won't.

I don't remember what happened last night all I know is that my head is pounding. During Turner's class I put my head down because I couldn't bare to keep my eyes open.

"Cass, what's going on?" Turner crouches down by my desk, I don't respond, "Hunter, what's the deal?" He asks Shawn, "I don't know she seemed fine this morning." "Cass, go to the nurse." Mr. Turner says to me, "No, no I'm fine. I just have a headache, all the lights in here." I avoid the nurse because one call home and I'm dead meat. "You sure?" He asks, I nod, "Let me know if you change your mind." He taps my back and continues teaching.

Anxiety begins to fill my chest and it crawls up my throat, I try to swallow it down but my throat is getting tighter, I need a drink, I need to wait.

++
School is finally over and I can go home and sleep, I need sleep.

Shawn walks me home as usual and goes back to Cory's. As soon as I get home I plop into my bed and fall asleep.

Not even an hour later my dad is home and he is screaming, "Cassidy Lynn, get down here now!" My breaths become short and my chest gets tight, "Yes daddy?" He grabs me by my throat, "Why did I get a call from your teacher saying you had your head down all class? I don't pay all this money for you to sleep in class. It's because of that Hunter boy isn't it, that trailer trash!" My dad rants, "No, daddy, I had a headache." He looks at me in rage, "I'll give you a headache."

I black out instantly, I don't know if it's from anxiety or my dad but I know I blacked out. I wake up in my room, it's dark out now. My body aches, I silently weep from the pain of my body and my pounding head.

All of a sudden I hear someone come through my window, I quickly wipe my tears and sit up, it's Shawn. "Shawny, what's going on, I thought you were suppose to be at the Matthews'?" I whisper as I jump up to quietly close my door.

"I needed a break." He lays on my bed, "You can stay here tonight honey but my dad is in a really bad mood tonight." I say as I hold down the sleeves of my white long sleeved shirt making sure none of my bruises or marks are exposed; "I just needed a break." He says looking up at the ceiling. I lay next to him and wrap my arms around his torso, "You doing okay?" I ask, "Want the truth?" He asks, "mmhmm." "Well, I should be okay because this sort of thing always happens, my parents always leave but they always come back the same night or even week. It's been three Cass, they really left me. The Matthews hate me I can feel it, I'm just becoming a burden to everyone and I just needed a break, where I don't feel like a burden. You don't make me feel like that." Shawn confesses to me.

"Shawny." I sit up and gently place my hand on his cheek, "Shawny, I love you and you're not a burden to anyone, I'm glad you know you're not to me most importantly. You're always welcomed here, even if you have to hide from my dad you're welcomed here. I love you." He smiles, "I know. I love you, too." He leans up on his elbows, "I think I'm gonna go back to Cory's now before his parents lose their minds even more." He stands up then falls on top of me, hovering me, "See you tomorrow?" He smiles, "Window same time?" I tease him, he chuckles then kisses my forehead, "Goodnight." He says then climbs out of the window, "Goodnight." I say, closing my window then hurrying to open my door.

My dad is standing right there, I swallow hard, "Why is this door closed?" He says between his teeth, "I don't know, I'm sorry." I can't think of a lie fast enough before he hits me right across the face. I panic inside hoping there won't be a mark; I look in my mirror as soon as my dad walks away, it's red and already starting to bruise.

how will I explain this to Shawn?

++
The next morning I jump out of bed and rush into my parent's bathroom hoping to find my mom's makeup. I look at the slightly bruised handprint on my face, maybe it's not that noticeable.

I can't find the makeup before Shawn arrives, I hear his footsteps in my room, I'm screwed. "Cass?" He calls, "Hi, Shawny." I hurry back into my room, "You're not ready yet? That's new." He smiles as he slightly teases me. "Yeah, I woke up late." I keep the left side of my face towards the wall as unnoticeable as possible.

I grab a black dress, black sheer tights and one of Shawn's flannels and start towards the bathroom, "No need to leave, I've seen it all before already." Shawn says making a really valid point, "I uh have my period that's all." I lie, "Oh okay, privacy away then." He nervously laughs.

I sigh in relief as I close the bathroom door. I undress and look at all my bruises on my back and arms, he really did a number on me last night. I quickly get dressed and take my hair out of my pony tail leaving it in its natural curly state.

I then put on my everyday staple, my doc martens and I hurry back into my room. "I'm ready, Shawny." "Oooo, I love the outfit today." He compliments me, hugging my waist and kisses me, I kiss him back softly since his fingertips are gripping into my bruises, "What's wrong?" He asks looking way too close at me, I pull away quickly grabbing my backpack, "Nothing, we just have to get to school." I rush out of the door.

"I have some news, I no longer live at the Matthews." He says, thankfully changing the subject, "What do you mean? Is your dad home?" I ask, "No, I moved in with Turner. I think it's a better place for me." He says and I smile at him, "I'm glad you feel that way! I know you love Cory but him and his family can be so mean to you sometimes," he holds his hands up to stop me, "I know." I stop saying what I was going to, he hates hearing it. I just wrap my arm around him and he does the same to me and we continue the walk to school.

"Shawny, Turner lives near the motel right?" I ask as we walk into school, "Yeah, why?" He puts my backpack in our locker, "Shawny that's too far for you to walk to bring me to school everyday." I frown, he shrugs, "Nothing is too far for you, I'll just wake up earlier." He says like that was the only answer. "Shawny," I start and he cuts me off, "Cass, baby, I don't want to hear it; I'm coming." He smiles at me and I gently kiss him, "I love you." We say in unison.

I'm glad he's living with Turner, it's about to be summer and now Shawn can feel comfortable in a home rather than judged and most importantly, he'll be in a home this summer. I feel much more at ease and I know he does too.

{s2}