Her's Now, and Forever

~ Chapter 12 ~

{ Rose's POV }

"No, we spoke about this earlier today remember? I would've used the safeword if you did." She spoke and it eased my worries.

During scenes, I tend to go deep in domspace and I like to have my way with things, which can backfire sometimes. I'm glad I can trust Kamilia enough to safeword when she's uncomfortable. 

"I'm happy I can trust you Princess, now can we cuddle?" I kissed her cheek and whined, it's common for her to be needy and affectionate, but I'm just as needy as her when it comes to affection.

"You're so adorableeee awwwwwww, of course we can cuddle! Do you wanna be the little spoon?" I paused for a second, I kinda felt like I should be the big one because I'm supposed to take care of her but I really really wanted to be the little spoon. 

I nodded, turning my head to look into her eyes, "Pleaseeee!", and then I turned back so she could cuddle me. We began to spoon and she wrapped her hands around me, I was so happy but in the back of my mind I felt a little guilty. We didn't talk much, we were both pretty tired and it was almost midnight.

~ Flashback : Earlier today ~

We had been home from the park for almost an hour now. Kamilia was in the bedroom doing her own thing, I wasn't entirely sure what she was up to but it was her business. I was laying on my couch, I had just called in our reservation for this night. I didn't tell Kamilia the details because it's a surprise, but she does know we're going to dinner. I tried to just scroll on my phone, but I couldn't stop replaying the events from just hours ago. She just kissed me then and there . . . and then we started to make out then and there. The whole session let out a lot of sexual tension, but I could tell she certainly wanted more when I pulled back. Honestly, I wanted more as well but, is that too soon? I decided to test the water instead of sitting back and worrying. 

I got up off the couch and walked up the stairs, opening the bedroom door. I saw Kamilia looking through my closet for any more cute items to go with her dress that was lying on the bed. I assumed she went back to her apartment for the dress and heels laid out because it wasn't mine. I walked over to her and hugged her from behind, holding onto her waist. I could she was caught off guard and flustered.

"Hi Princess, do you mind if we talk?" I made sure I spoke with a calm, soft tone.

"Sure, uhmm, did I do something wrong? I'm sorry." She said quietly, I could tell she was worried but I took her hand and led her to a part of the bed that wasn't covered by her outfit and accessories, then we both sat down.

"No, no, of course not. I just wanted to ask about your boundaries love." I kissed her and hugged her tight, I know that affection eases her anxiety so I did a lot of that.

"Okayyyy!" 

"This is kinda an awkward conversation, but what are your boundaries about sex?" I didn't really know how to start a conversation about it, so I just threw the question out. I could tell it caught her off guard, which I'm not surprised about, it would've caught me off guard as well.

"I'm perfectly okay with it, I get horny a lot so I like to play a lot." She replied and I smiled because me too.

"It's the same way for me, how do you feel about BDSM?" I hoped she would be into it, it's a huge part of my sex life.

"I love it so much, and by the look in your eyes you love it too, so what are your kinks?" I looked the other way for a second and quickly turned back, I was a bit flustered.

"I'm a Domme, I like to be called Mistress or Mommy. I'm into breath play, hair pulling, marking, bondage, praise and degradation, edging, sadism, and impact play. I'm also a switch, but I lean more to the dominant side and it's rare for me to be submissive. I'm open to new kinks unless it's a hard limit. Speaking of limits, make sure you tell me yours." I spoke and a huge smile appeared on her face.

"I'm a switch as well, but I tend to be more submissive. I'm into all of the stuff you mentioned, I'm a masochist but my pain tolerance is really light, so I don't like any heavy pain or hitting or anything like that. I like light bondage, I have an objectification kink, I have a praise and degradation kink. I also like pet play, but not in the sense of pretending to be a puppy or something, but more like being degraded to a pet and being owned, collared, not having that control. Uhmm, I also like light knife play? My hard limits are the basics; scat, watersports, etc." 

God damn, for such sweet, caring, care-free, and innocent looking girl she's really kinky. I like that though, that means we can do a lot of different scenes and there's a lot of variety.

"Do you have a specific safeword, or do you wanna use the usual red, yellow, green light system?" I asked, this was a really important question so both of us are safe and respect each other's boundaries.

"No, we can just use the usual system." She wrapped her arms around me and leaned her head on me, I loved how vulnerable she was around me. I felt so strong and proud to be the one caring for her.

"Uhmm one more thing, do you need to know when it's gonna happen beforehand or are you okay with spontaneous things?" I asked because I preferred spontaneous ones for the most part; except for when there's detailed and intense scenes, but I didn't mind discussing things beforehand. 

"I don't mind spontaneous things, but I'd prefer to discuss if it's a specific scene we both want." I nodded in agreement and we laid back on the bed, just holding each other for a moment.

~ Present Time ~

"Uhm Kamilia?" I turned over and looked at her. I was feeling kinda bad and I didn't like to bottle up my feelings.

"Yes Rose?" She replied sleepily, her eyes were still closed, and I could tell she was about to fall asleep so I felt even worse right now. 

"Nevermind." I moved my eyes to the side and I was about to turn back over but then I heard her speak.

"You can tell me love, it's okay." Her voice was soft and she kissed me.

"I uhm, I feel kinda down . . . because I'm supposed to be taking care of you but . . . I'm so needy right now so I feel weak and like . . . I failed as your Mommy." I spoke slowly, pausing a lot. I had a lot of negative thoughts and feelings, and I hoped talking about it would make them go away.

Kamilia sat up on the bed and of course I sat up with her, I was leaning on her, and she leaned on me as well while she held me. I could feel the vibration while she spoke.

"Rose love, I know we're both used to me being the expressive, care-free, childish, and needy one. I know you're used to being the stronger, more collected, and calm one but a relationship is still 50/50 okay? There's nothing wrong with wanting affection, being clingy, needy, and it's especially okay for you to feel sad or any type of emotion you have; I would never think of you as weak for that. Yes you take care of me, but as my Mommy and girlfriend, it's important I take care of you too." She spoke softly as she kissed me.

Kamilia grabbed my face gently so she could turn my head towards her, and looked into her beautiful brown eyes.

"Now I need you to listen, okay love? You have and never will fail as my Mommy, you're always so sweet and kind to me, you're always here for me and you take such good care of me, you're more than good enough to me. To me, you're the most perfect girlfriend I could ever ask for." She said before showering me in kisses and I just hugged her really tight, I felt much better. 

We laid back down and she wrapped her hands around me again so we could spoon, we both let out two big yawns. I pulled the covers over us and I was ready to drift off to sleep before I heard a sleepy voice . . .

"One more thing love, I want you to promise me something." Kamilia said sleepily, our eyes were both closed.

"Mhm?"

"That you'll tell me the next time you feel like this." She moved my hair to whisper in my ear.

"I promise I will, goodnight angel." I said sleepily.

"Goodnight love." She kissed my cheek and laid back down.

We both drifted to sleep afterwards, it was a very long day for the both of us.