Ikaw At Ako

Kabanata 32

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Kabanata 32

"Angelica..." Sinalubong ako ng mama na may naluluha nang mga mata...

"Mama..." Nagsimula na rin akong maging emosyonal nang yakapin ako ng magulang ko.

Nandoon din ang papa na may luha rin ang mga mata. Both my parents looked guilty but I assured them that it's all right now...

"Mali kami ng Papa mo, hija. Tama ka na hindi ka namin lubusang inintindi..." Mama cried...

"We failed as your parents..." si Papa rin.

May luha na sa mga mata ko habang nakatingin at pinapakinggan ang mga magulang ko...

There was a time when I thought that I have given up on talking to my parents about my feelings... I thought that they wouldn't listen to me anyway or try to understand me... Kaya hahayaan ko na lang... But I realized that just like how we are, our parents aren't perfect, too... May mga pagkukulang din sila, nagkakamali rin... And it would also be hard to them to understand their children if we'll just keep quiet or not be honest with our parents at all... Communication is really important anywhere... Kailangan may pag-uusap para mabigyan ng linaw ang mga bagay at para alam din ng ibang tao bukod sa 'yo ang mga tunay mong nararamdaman...

"That's not true, Mama...Papa..." Umiling ako. "If I'll get to choose who my parents will be, kayo pa rin po ng Papa ang pipiliin ko, Mama..." My tears fell as I watched my parents cry in front of me. They are not perfect, but they work hard for me and my brothers. And they gave us an easier life where we could eat proper meals, we have good clothes to wear, and a strong roof to shelter us from the rain... I and my siblings were given quality education, too. And all these things were already great things if compared to other children who grew up unlike us... I am already greatly blessed. And I am grateful.

"Mama, Papa... Thank you for everything that you have done for me and my brothers. I will forever be grateful to you." I gave them a reassuring smile despite my tears...

Lalo pang naiyak ang mama. Pagkatapos ay muli kaming nagyakapan hanggang sa kumalma na...

I think I've already said this before, that I've become so calm since I became pregnant... Para bang ayos na ang mga bagay para sa akin, o gusto ko na lang maging maayos ang mga ito so that I could have a more peaceful pregnancy... Or sometimes I also think that it just feels natural, too. Basta I feel at peace, and don't have any anger or ill feelings anymore... And I'm loving it. And maybe it's because I already learned how to let things be... I have learned acceptance and forgiveness to the people who have hurt me... And I learned to forgive myself, too...

"Thank you, Joaquin, for loving and understanding our daughter more than us..." naiiyak pa rin na sinabi ito ng mama ko sa kay Joaquin. Ganoon din ang papa na nagpasalamat din sa asawa ko.

And my husband tried to comfort my parents, too...

Sa huli ay may luha pa rin ang mga mata ko dahil sa emosyonal na kaganapan pero nakangiti na ako habang pinagmamasdan ang mga taong mahal ko sa buhay...

"Dito ka lang kanila kuya? I'll just be in the kitchen to help with the food preparations." paalam ko kay Joaquin. It's already the night before Christmas... Kaya busy na rin sa mansyon for the celebration...

Nagkatinginan kami. "I'll help, too." aniya at tatayo na sana pero pinigilan ko.

"No. Just stay here and bond with my brothers... Kaya na namin..." pigil ko sa kaniya.

"Sasama na ako sa 'yo, Angel." Tumayo rin si Anja sa tabi ng kuya ko. Okay na sila ni kuya bago pa man pumunta rito sa probinsya. And Anja would also spend Christmas with our family. Masaya na ako na maayos na ang lahat...

"I'll be fine, Joaquin." I gave my husband a reassuring smile. He always gets worried of me, and I remind him too that I'm pregnant but I'm fine. Si Joaquin talaga. I love him more because of his worries for me and our child... But I also don't want him to worry so much. Lalo na at okay lang naman kami ni baby.

Pagkatapos ay nagpunta na kami ni Anja sa kusina para tumulong na doon kahit sinabihan ng mama na kaya na nila at marami na rin naman sila ng mga katulong doon sa kusina. And I was smiling and happy as I helped with the Christmas food preparation, too...

Nakasanayan na natin ang pagpapasko. And usually we spend it together with our family. Kasi siguro parang naging family day na rin natin ito. It's the most time when we could have meal together with our family and loved ones, and spend more time with them... And I'm glad to be with my family this Christmas holidays...

Our Noche Buena was already well prepared on the table. Tinawag na rin namin sina Joaquin at ang papa, at ang mga kuya ko. We also took some family pictures. We all wore white clothes and our men also wore khaki pants if not white. Napagkasunduan namin iyon para mas pormal lang din sa pictures katabi namin ang aming malaking Christmas tree. And the smiles on our faces as we took these pictures were all genuine. I smiled happily as I watched the pictures we took...

And then we had dinner together as we converse happily with one another. Pagkatapos ay nagbigayan din kami ng mga regalo. Joaquin phone called his mother who will be spending this Christmas with the children at the orphanage she's supporting. And then we greeted her a Merry Christmas...

"Thank you for the best Christmas gift." sabi ni Joaquin sa akin habang naglalambing na niyayakap ako galing sa likod, habang may inaayos lang din ako ng konti sa Christmas tree namin na medyo nawala sa ayos kanina... Dahil din siguro sa sobrang pagpipicture namin dito. Napangiti na lang ako. So we were standing in front and at the foot of the big and tall Christmas tree as my husband hugged me lovingly.

Ngumiti ako. "Thank you, too." Pagkatapos ay hinawakan ko rin ang kamay niya na nasa tiyan ko. Alam kong tinutukoy niya ang anak namin na pinakamagandang regalong natanggap niya ngayon. And I just feel the same as my husband as well...

Joaquin kissed my temple, too. At iyon ang nakuhanan din ng picture ni Anja na nakangiti na sa amin pagkatapos. Ngumiti rin ako sa kaibigan ko at pagkatapos ay ginawa na naming photographer si Joaquin para sa pictures din naming dalawa na mag-best friend. At talaga namang gamit na gamit ang magandang Christmas tree as prop or background to our photos. Tuwang-tuwa na lang ako sa mga litrato. Because it was such a good memories to keep in photos. Like our happiest times were frozen and kept in these photographs...

"Merry Christmas!"

We greeted and gave one another hugs and kisses aside from the material gifts. I smiled contentedly as Joaquin put me in his loving embrace once again...