Falling for a mistake | Jeverus

Part 18

James gets the call and thinks why the hell not. He hasn't gone out in a while, not with his friends at least and he at least wants to hang out with Sirius again.

So he drives to the dive bar address Frank texted him and sees Sirius standing outside with a smoke, Remus right next to him lighting a new one.

" Here comes king Potter." Sirius whistles and James does a little spin for the theatrics.

" Hello my royal subjects." He greets and it promotes some amused responses.

" Excited?" Remus asks.

" For what?"

" Isn't this like your chance for reconciliation?"

" With who?"

" Your husband." Sirius says and James turns his head to him.

" Severus is here?"

" Yeah they're whole crew of doctors is here. Didn't Frank tell you?"

" No he just said we're going out tonight." James blinks at them.

Remus shrugs and takes a puff while James slightly panics inside. What is he supposed to say to Severus? I'm sorry? Hasn't he said that enough? It's basically meaningless at this point.

And what if he gets to drunk? Or worse, gets drunk and does something stupid. Maybe he just won't drink, but if he doesn't drink then his friends will start pressuring him and he'll end up worse.

Sirius can sense his gears moving and flicks his forehead.

" It's just your husband stupid. Stop overthinking, let's go in." He gestures to the door with his head while Remus says something about finishing his cigarette.

James takes a deep breath in and walks through the door after Sirius, the noise hitting him hard.

It's crowded for a dive bar, lots of music and a shit ton of people. There's almost no seats left but he finds Frank and the rest sitting at a booth that stretches into another table.

" Hey!" Lily yells over the loud music and jumps up to hug Sirius.

" Good to see you guys." She smiles brightly.

On the other end at the edge is Severus, spinning his almost empty glass of whiskey with his hand.

" Hey." James says and god he sounds breathless already.

Is he that nervous?

" Hey." Severus says simply as Frank moves so James can sit, Severus moving to make space.

Sirius goes to order and the table continues whatever conversation it had before they arrived, Severus being an avid member of it.

James looks around and feels out of place. The only person he really knows here is Frank and Severus but one is angry and the other is sitting too far away.

So he just leans his head back and focuses on the music in the background, staring off into space until Sirius finally sets a drink down in front of him.

He gulps it down, the whiskey gone in seconds. Severus spares him a glance and seeing how fast he drank that actually looks at his face for the first time in days.

He finally sees the dark circles under his eyes and the way his eyelids hang low, unlike the usual twinge of happiness it always has.

Severus then pursed his lips and wills himself to look away, leaving James feeling alone again. In a room full of strangers and a table filled with friends, he still feels lonely.

So he puts his head down, slowly and tentatively on Severus' shoulder. The table misses a beat in their conversation as Frank notices. He has a small smile as he looks back at Pandora for their conversation.

Lily on the other hand is staring at Severus because he has this surprised look on his face. It may just be the lighting but his face is red like he was back in highschool and his crush just walked past him.

He slowly leans his head on top of James' and her heart swells, watching a silent moment that meant more to them than any words ever could.

James turns his palm upright and Severus stares at it. He feels his whole body burst with goosebumps and he's almost vibrating with how uncertain he is about everything.

And then just as James is about to turn his hand back around, just as his wrist shifts and his hand is pulling away Severus takes it.

He turns it back around and intertwined their fingers, pulling James' heart strings. James smiles, completely beside himself and pulls Severus' hand into his lap.

He holds it with both of his own, rubbing the inside of his wrist and palm with his thumb.

" I'm sorry." He whispers.

Severus looks down at their hands and sighs. James' voice is quiet, almost melting into the background but he hears it.

It's like they're in their own world, the table purposefully ignoring them.

" It's ok. You fixed your mistake."

" I should've done it sooner."

" It's fine. Nothing wrong with chasing your happiness." Severus whispers back.

" That should've been you. You should've been my happiness but i made it so you weren't."

" You're not all to blame. I shouldn't have been so rash."

" You had good reason to be."

" If we both keep admitting our mistakes like this we might just end up in a healthy relationship." Severus quips and James chuckles.

He lifts his head and they look at each other as James laughs wholeheartedly.

" God, imagine that." He says between chuckles and Severus' heart that felt empty slowly fills.

His eyes train over James' features and lands on his lips, a subconscious decision.

" I missed you." Severus admits because he really did. He really does.

" Me too." James smiles and he squeezes on Severus' hand.

" You two good now?" Frank asks, leaning onto the table to see the couple.

Everyone seems to be staring and they share an awkward glance at each other.

" Are we?" James asks, scared to hear the answer.

Severus holds his breath because he isn't sure, but with how hard James is holding his hand and the look on his face he doesn't want to hurt him.

" I think so."

To everyone else that's a good answer, them nodding and smiling with approval. But to James it's not enough because Severus never says things with uncertainty unless he means to.

So if he isn't sure their relationship is completely fixed then that means it isn't.

And how could it be? With just a little hand holding and head leaning a marriage doesn't fix itself. But James is pretty sure he'll find out what does soon.