Monster // Dark Remus

1 | Amalgamate

I could kill him.

That bastard.

I would kill him.

Except I couldn't.

I wouldn't.

But I want to.

I could kill Sirius Black. And it's a wonder how I haven't yet. I could've killed Severus Snape. And it's a wonder how I didn't.

-~-

I woke up in the medical wing, like usual. I sat up and adjusted my pillows and suddenly I was haunted by memories from the night prior. It definitely wasn't like usual. I hesitantly looked to my left and Sniv- no, Severus Snape was sitting in the bed next to me, curled up, shaking and holding a potion bottle. I instantly looked back at the ceiling and closed my eyes whilst I let my head go back, resting on the pillows behind me.

''Remus?'' I heard a soft, shaky, voice say. Severus.

I lifted my head back up, and looked towards him.

''Yes?'' I replied, trying my hardest not to stutter. Truly, I was terrified. Of myself. Of him. Of Sirius. Of my future, rotting in Azkaban.

He took a quivering breath, ''Why did Black try to- try to hurt you? Didn't he know? About, well... Uh, I assume he did, but- but he harmed you more than me. I got to the shack, and saw you changing. If Black hadn't led me there I would have ran and told everyone. I didn't, don't worry, but I would have. And I apologise for that.''

''I- I apologise for everything Lupin. Everything. For calling you Loony, for making fun of you. There was no reason for it. If anything, I- I wanted to hurt Black and Potter. Not you. And I don't know why I did. And if you would like to know, I won't spread the news about your lycanthropy problem.''

I didn't know what to say. Whether to cry and be grateful, or cry and scream at everyone. To punch my way back to St Edmunds and Grant. To punch my way back to Sirius.

''Severus, m-may I call you that? I honestly don't know why Sirius did what he did. I am so- so sorry Severus. I didn't want that to happen to anyone. S- I can't even say his name anymore- he knew. Knew about me. And my... problem. They figured it out. But I'm so grateful. So grateful you didn't say anything.'' I said, blinking a lot to stop tears from pouring down my face.

''And I'm sorry. Sorry for all our fights. Sorry I never stepped in when they were bullying you. And thank you, for apologising. I don't deserve it, but thank you. And, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not associating with him anymore. I couldn't bear it.'' I ended.

I was quietly crying, letting the tears fall like a leaky tap. Severus looked at me, and put down his potion. He stood up and came over to my bed. And pulled me into a hug. And I hugged back. If anyone said I would have been hugging 'Snivellus' I would have called them mad. But then, if they said the same thing about me hugging him, I would have deemed it normal. My world has officially been flipped.

"Remus, could we be f-friends now? I'm guessing you have no-one, sorry, and I have a few people in mind who could help you, and would help you. They too dislike Black." He spat out that name like a murderer, whilst pulling out of the hug and sitting down on the edge of my bed, "All Slytherins. You could possibly get resorted? That could be allowed due to this- um- situation. Plus, there's no point in us fighting anymore."

He finished his query, and looked at me sheepishly.

I choked out, "Yes. Severus. Yes. You genius. Oh my days! Oh my days.."

I pulled him in for another hug, squeezing him hard. Then I let him go. He inhaled harshly, and smirked at me.

"When we're authorised to leave, we can go to Dumbledore and sort this out, ok? If Black doesn't get in trouble for putting you in danger, and me also, I will personally find his darkest secret and spread it around. That alright with you?" Severus said, wiping the tears off his face. I hadn't realised that he was crying too. I ignored my ignorance, and nodded my head.

Mrs. Pomfrey came around to where our beds were stationed, and looked at us confused, but smiled anyway and told Severus to drink his potion and leave. She then told me she was getting me my potions and left. Severus obliged to her words and looked towards me when he left.

"I'll be in the abandoned girls lavatory, the one with Moaning Myrtle. Meet me there, alright?"

I nodded, and then Poppy came back.

"Take these dear, and I know I can't convince you to rest here so you may leave. Just eat some fruit before you go, and be careful today. Take it easy, Remus." She sighed at me, and walked away.

There were a total of five potions, two nutrient potions and the rest were random ones that help with the pain. It gave me time to think about the events that had happened. He lead Severus to the shrieking shack, I nearly killed him, Severus nearly sent me to Azkaban, I befriended Severus whilst disowning Sirius' friendship (however that's unknown to him at the moment), and soon will be sorted into a different house in a few hours, possibly.

I finished drinking the potions, and stood up to leave whilst grabbing an orange. I yelled a farewell to Madame Pomfrey and left towards the second floor girl's laboratory. I made it and saw Severus sitting on a towel on the floor, leaning on a stall.

"Greetings and Salutations." He greeted, whilst looking up towards me.

"Hello, Severus." I greeted him, smiling.

Severus stood up, grabbed my arm, and pulled me towards the exit. We walked to Dumbledore's office, chatting the whole route. We got a few weird looks from students in the hallways, but no-one dared to say anything.

We made it to our Headmasters office, and the stone gryphon let us in, almost expecting us. Dumbledore saw us enter his headquarters and conjured some tea and sherbet lemons.

"Hello boys. Care for a sherbet lemon, or some tea? Have as much as you would like." He smiled, gesturing towards the tray on his desk. I looked towards Severus, and he shook his head, and started talking to Professor Dumbledore.

"No thank you, sir. May I ask, could Lupin here be resorted? Due to recent circumstances I don't find it suitable that he stays in Gryffindor with Sirius Black. Surely you have been informed on what has happened? And punished Black accordingly?" Severus spoke with purpose, exclaiming anything that needed to be exclaimed.

Dumbledore waited for a while before answering. 

-~-

FIRST CHAPTER DONEEEEEEE.

This book is like on chapter 6 as I'm writing this (editing actually). Anyway, there is a Heathers Reference in here. Have a good life. 

-A.B.