fingers crossed

beach baby

*bon iver beach baby wack it on ay*

JOE'S POV 

As we stood there embracing in the cold 3am mist I noticed neither of us wanted to loosen our grip. Suddenly this possibility I had been doubting and pushing to the back of my mind was so real I could feel it in her warmth. When I pull back to look into her eyes I can see it too, clear as day- this is something real and I know she feels it too.

I notice her little shoulders start to shiver so I pull her in to ask "would you like to...stay?" she smiles and almost whispers "next to you? yes." still in disbelief I hold the door open and follow her inside, beaming.

******

That night I held her so tightly I thought she might not to be able to breathe but slowly I watch her small smile fade from her face as her breathing deepens and I watch her disappear into sleep in my arms. I twiddle my forefinger in a loose strand of her hair and pray to the universe that this never ends.

DIANNE'S POV

I wake up in the early morning to find his arms still wrapped tightly around me and feel his warm deep breaths on my forehead. I close my eyes again and try to enjoy this bliss for as long as possible.

But then it happens. Slowly it creeps in - the dread, the anxiety. So much can go wrong I can't push this sinking feeling out of my brain, if it was just a physical thing between us it would be fine, we could keep it a secret until the season is over and go our separate ways after the show. The idea of only ever seeing him flash up on my phone screen from time to time stings to even imagine, this can't be where we're headed because whatever is happening between us is so strong I know he can feel it too but it could also cause a world of problems for us both. I can't help but remember how uncomfortable I felt when the judges kept talking about our romance in the waltz and how stiff we felt next to each other in front of the audience and cameras for the rest of the night, it felt like everyone knew about what was happening between us and suddenly this vulnerable part of me was on display. I squeeze my eyes tightly trying to fight the morning light creeping in an attempt to stay in this night, before having to face reality. 

****

I fight this feeling for the next few days, it's not like it was hard- rehearsals for the foxtrot had been going so smoothly we've had more free time than ever to spend enjoying each other's company. Joe has been so sweet, doing everything he can to make me happy and his little smile waiting for my reaction kills me. 

We have gotten so close so quickly, partly because of the hours we've spent together rehearsing but also because of this undeniable connection, it's getting kind of hard to be apart. All I've been focusing on is enjoying this whilst it lasts. But then everything came crashing down...