fingers crossed

outro

*the last song of this story, guys gals and non binary pals, is Outro by M83*

JOE'S POV

Saturday morning  felt like the last day of school. It was so much fun having the whole cast reunited again. Sitting in the cast tent with Kate, Ranj and Susannah was so lovely as we shared stories and experiences from this shared journey we've been on together, it reminded me of the first few scary weeks. Dianne returned from her rehearsals and we went back to spending the day pretty much fused together, as if we were scared to let go.

Last night we discussed the idea of winning like a far off dream, since we know that without needing votes to get through to next week the studio has no more reason to favour us, so even if we were to get winning points it probably won't show in the results. This isn't really a negative though because we love our fellow finalists so much it's warming to know one of them will win (although I am secretly routing for Stacy as she is my best mate here). Plus Dianne overhead a meeting organising the winning couple's This Morning appearance so we're pretty set on the idea of it being her time to shine and I couldn't think of anyone that deserves it more. Our win, however was that we found each other, and I'd take Dianne over a plastic trophy any day, but still I have to fight the feeling that I'm letting her down.

Dianne and I always kept things pretty professional in the studios, but today we let ourselves off by entering every room hand in hand or arm in arm. It wasn't until she was called to hair and makeup that I was alone with Stacey, giving us a chance to share our fears, memories and excitement for tour. Even though we are joking and laughing, I notice there's something bothering her which seems to cast a shadow over all of her smiles but I shake it off thinking maybe it's just the same bittersweet feeling I have. Once back in the dressing room I bring it up to Dianne who's eyes widen as she connects the dots. She tells me Kevin won't be joining her for tour so this is their last time working and dancing together, which I understand would make anyone sad but I feel Dianne watching me as the realisation slowly hits me and I say

you don't think-

she cuts me off by taking my hand, knowing it's best not to say it out loud. Suddenly I feel an immense wave of warm gratitude course through my body to be here with her, able to tell her I love her and hold her at night, no complications, just us and our future together ahead of us. I pull her in so tightly, as she fits into my arms perfectly, not caring where we are I stroke the side of her face and lift her chin so her lips meet mine. Fireworks, butterflies, electricity, all of it happening and we breathe each other in.

****

The rest of the evening was incredibly surreal, I have so much love for the whole cast and crew and I had such a lovely moment with Faye, Ashley and Stacey before going on stage, we just held each other, soaking in every last second.

Seeing Dianne's face throughout the show was the best part, and it's such a magical thing to see the woman you love living her dream. The audience really offered so much love and support it felt like we've won something no matter the outcome so we have so much fun performing. We dance our hearts out hitting every beat, filled with adrenaline and passion as the night began to blur together. The world seems to move in slow motion towards the end of our final performance of the Charleston, as Dianne and I beam at each other whilst running and reaching out to one another. We pick up the straw, drop to the floor and are engulfed in cheers, but the room goes silent as all I can see is the look of euphoria on the face of the woman I plan on spending my life with. I live in this moment for as long as possible, no material possession or achievement could ever compare to the love we share.

How lucky I am to be here with her.