Don't Worry About Me

Chapter 38

TW depression, suicide attempt, dark thoughts

"Kids, I'm going to the hospital to see your sister. Mark, Derek, keep an eye on your sister please." Christopher said.

"Sure Dad. We'll watch Amy." Derek said.

"I want to go with you Daddy!" Amelia whined. "I want to see Mer!"

Christopher sighed. "I know you want to see her sweetie but now isn't the best time." Truthfully he didn't want them to see their sister in this state. Meredith was constantly crying the night before because of all of the pain she was in. Her body was in so much pain because of her normal pain issues plus the impact that the overdose had had on her kidneys and liver. And because of the overdose, Meredith was not allowed any pain medications.

"It's not fair Daddy! I want to see my Mermer!" Amelia pouted.

"Amy, Dad's right. She's in a lot of pain, both physically and emotionally right now." Mark said softly to his little sister.

"Fine." Amelia sighed.

"I love you kids. I'll check in with you later." Christopher said and left the house and drove to the hospital.

———-

Carolyn rubbed her exhausted eyes and looked over at her silent daughter. "You okay sweetie? Are you hungry?"

"I'm fine." Meredith whispered and looked away.

I'm such a burden. I don't know why I'm here. I'm taking up this bed for someone who actually needs it. I don't deserve it.

"Mer, sweetie. Talk to me. I know you're hurting." Carolyn said softly, trying to get her daughter to talk. Meredith had been silent ever since she woke up.

"I'm fine." Meredith looked down at her fingers.

Just then Christopher walked into the room. He gave a sad smile to his wife. "Good morning." He gave a kiss to both Carolyn and Meredith. He didn't get a response back from Meredith.

Christopher glanced over at his wife, asking silently if Meredith was okay. Carolyn just shook her head in response.

"Mer, sweetie. I'm going to go talk to your daddy out in the hall. Yell if you need anything." Carolyn pressed a kiss to Meredith's forehead.

Meredith just closed her eyes in response.

Carolyn sighed at the lack of response.

Carolyn and Christopher walk out into the hallway and Carolyn slumps down against the wall.

"Christopher..." Carolyn whispers.

"I'm here." He gives her a hug. "She's so quiet. Has she said anything?"

"No. Nothing. The only thing she's said is that she's fine and we both know that's not true. She's shutting everyone out." Carolyn says, tears starting to stream down her cheeks. "She's not okay Christopher! Our baby girl isn't okay."

"Has Arizona been in to see her yet?" Christopher asked.

"Yeah, she saw her during rounds. She tried to get Meredith to talk but Meredith just stayed quiet and refused to say a word. Arizona did say that there is a 72 hour psych hold for suicide attempts so she'll be brought up their at some point today."

"Yeah, she mentioned that last night also." Christopher said. "Did she sleep last night?"

"Yeah, she slept the entire night. She woke up a few times in pain but I got her back to sleep."

"Did you sleep at all?" Christopher asked.

Carolyn shook her head. "No, I was too worried about her to sleep. I watched her the entire night."