You're the Reason I Changed [COMPLETE]

Chapter Fifteen: Christmas Wreck

Luki’s POV

UGH!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

WHY AM I SUCH A FOOL?!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!

“I HATE MYSELF!!!!!” I kicked my bed then let myself fall on it…

Sigh…

“Why did I even dare to say that…?” I closed my eyes as I remember that…

(Flashback)

I can by the look on her face that she wasn’t expecting me to say that. Ba, pati naman ako ha! It’s your fault! You forced me to say it! >/////////////<

“W-what are you saying? A-are you nuts?!” Nuts ka jan… mukha ba akong mani sayo na pwede mung i-crack? Ay! Huwag po, please don’t put a crack in my heart. I think just one more crack and I can’t fix it anymore.

Ay? Ano daw sabi ko? AISH! Concentrate Luki! May kausap ka huwag kang magloko loko ngayon! >^<

“Hanon-chan, I’m not going nuts. You asked me why I can’t let this relationship go despite the fact I’m going up against my so-called mother, well my answer is because I love you. And I don’t want to loose you again. I can’t loose you again… so please don’t let me go”

I’m serious… my mother pushing her away from me I can handle but her willing letting me go… that… I can’t. If she continues pushing me away… I think… I think I’ll loose it. I'll be dragged to a dark place that I might not be able to escape. So Hanon-chan… don’t… don’t let me go… please…

“Luki-kun… I love…” ME?! WHUAH!!! Bumibilis tibok ng puso ko lalo! “Justin”

*CREAK CRACK* -- > tunog ng nabasag na glass

Ouch. But what was I expecting. I know naman. Sinabi na niya sakin yan. And I was the one to force her to admit it. Partly because I didn’t want her to experience what I went through. Ung feeling na nagsisi ka kung bakit ba noon di ko sinabi agad. If I did, would things be different? Would have she said those words back? I didn’t want her to live a world filled with regrets. Filled with ‘what ifs’. But another part of me wanted her to confess because of my selfish desirers. I knew Justin would turn her down and because I knew I wanted Hanon-chan to hear it. I wanted it to be clear to her that there was no chance for them. Am I selfish? Maybe…

“G-gomen…” Ouch talaga. Sorry daw.

“Sorry for what? That you don’t feel the same way I do? Or sorry because you’re letting me go?”

“Luki, you know the answer to those questions”

“Actually… I don’t. Or maybe I do but I don’t like them. Maybe I’m hoping that deep down they’re wrong. Hanon-chan, there’s nothing wrong with me wanting to be with you even if you see me as merely your friend. There’s nothing wrong with me loving you”

“That’s it Luki, there is something wrong! Because of your selfish acts, you’re risking my family’s future. Sure, risk mine all you want! Risk ours but don’t you dare risk my parents, aunt or my unborn sibling’s future! I can’t take that… I won’t be able to bare the guilt” she’s crying again… because of me. Tsk. Is it really that selfish?

“Tell me something before you end this, is your family the only reason why you want to let me go?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“I mean is it also because of Steven-kun?”

Gulat siya at nanahimik. Silence means yes

“Is that how much you love him? You’re willing to let this relationship go. And you’re willing to gamble your friendship with Ellen-san. Hanon-chan, his with someone else”