Like a moth drawn to a flame

risky

*Luisa*

I lay in the bathtub and tried to clear my head. Around me it was steaming. I had turned the water as hot as I could stand it and tried to relax. My thoughts, however, were circling around him.

I took a few deep breaths and sank deeper into the water. I just wanted to relax. How could someone haunt my thoughts so much?

I closed my eyes and surrendered to my thoughts for a moment. His lips on mine, his hands on my body, his smell, his closeness.

A shiver ran down my spine despite the warm water.

Was this love?

I just ran my hand over my face.

No. This was desire and lust that just coursed through my body.

I took a deep breath. No matter how hard I tried to push the thoughts aside, they kept coming back up. And each time, a little more intense. A little more demanding.

Slowly, I let my hands slide down my body, and all I could think about was him. I knew it was wrong.

But there was nothing I could do about the fact that my thoughts revolved around him, and I knew I needed release. Maybe then I could think more clearly again.

I let my hands slide completely down my body now and felt my entire body respond. I was shaking.

Shit, I really needed this

I closed my eyes and saw him in front of me again. What I would have given to be here with him now?

Just the thought of him was driving me crazy. But I wanted to sink my fingernails into his skin, my face in the crook of his neck, my hands on his body.

It was a tantalizing thought. My body quivered under my hands.

It would be different if he were here.

I wonder if he would come here if I wrote to him.

Would he come?

Or would he let me in if I went to him?

I gasped at the thought. I didn't want to be alone now. I wanted to go to him. It would be a mistake, but one of the good kind. A mistake I would probably regret tomorrow, but it would certainly be worth the regret. Even though it might get weird in the box tomorrow.

Because alone I would not find redemption today. I wouldn't be able to climax on my own. Not as long as I had to think about him.

The way he looked at me, touched me.

It was mostly these casual touches that drove me crazy. Those almost unintentional things he did when he was near me.

I longed for them.

I longed for him, for his touch.

My heart began to race, but I felt I was no closer to redemption. I wasn't going to make it. It was almost excruciating how much I needed it and couldn't make it. The climax would not come. I wouldn't make it.

I groaned in frustration and let my head fall back into my neck.

I pushed myself up out of the bathtub, drained the water, and tied a robe around myself. I would go to him. I couldn't stand it. I wanted to go to him. Now.

My heart raced faster and faster. I stopped in my bathroom for a moment.

Should I really risk it?

Wouldn't that maybe break some things?

I didn't want to think about it now. I wanted to crawl into his arms and finally find release.
I put my room card and slipped it into pocket of my robe before leaving my room. I waited a moment until I was sure the hallway was empty, then, barefoot, I crept across the dark carpet.

The warm fabric muffled my footsteps, but my heart pulsed in my ears. It beat so hard it sounded like a murmur. My throat scrounged.

What if he rejected me? It would be a humiliation. But at least then surely that desire would go away.

I crept across the hall, then I could hear voices and scurried into a side hallway to avoid being seen.

It was totally stupid to walk around the hotel in my bathrobe and think that nobody would see me. I wouldn't even have a good excuse.

Why should I walk half naked through the hotel?

It was stupid.

For a moment I considered turning around and just going to sleep, but then the voices disappeared and my courage returned. I left the small hallway and continued sneaking down the hall. I had seen which room he had gone into and now I was standing in front of his door.

My heart was beating up to my throat. I could still turn around. No one had seen me. No one had noticed me. Maybe it was even better if I turned around.

But before I could think about it further, the door opened in front of me.

I was so shocked for a moment that I almost turned around without a word and left. It hadn't been planned that way.

My pulse quickened many times over.

"Oh." he said, looking at me piercingly "What are you doing here? And why the bathrobe?".

The words stuck in my throat. I actually hadn't thought that far ahead. I hadn't even thought about what I would say when I knocked. All I had been able to think about was the tingling in my stomach. That urgent desire. The unbridled lust.

I took a step forward. Words seemed so inappropriate at that moment. Somehow also superfluous. I stood before him practically half-naked and didn't want to have to explain myself. I didn't want to have to admit that I had been thinking about him in the bathtub, although that was probably obvious because my hair was still wet.

"Do you need anything?" he asked, concerned.

"Yes, you.", I replied breathlessly.

"Are you serious right now?"

"Yes. I'm completely serious," I took his hand and slid it under my robe.

I could see the astonishment in his eyes as his warm hand stroked my bare skin. Then he pulled me to him.

"Good." he growled, pulling me even closer to him "Because I was just on my way to see you. All I could think about was you.".

He lifted me up with a bit of a swing and closed the door behind us. My heart skipped a beat. I leaned down to him and kissed him with desire. I had waited so long for this moment, waited so long for him.

Now I was tired of waiting. I wrapped my legs around his body, exposing my bare skin. He gasped, then kissed down my neck. My skin started to tingle in places.

I closed my eyes and put my arms around his neck.

I wanted to hold on to this moment. For as long as I could.

It might have been just this one moment. Maybe it would never happen again and I didn't want to waste this moment or not feel even one feeling.

I wanted it all.

Now.

He laid me down on his bed. His scent immediately enveloped me. I closed my eyes and soaked up the smell.

My skin tingled as he opened the robe and stroked my skin "You're beautiful." he murmured, then his lips touched my skin.