Like a moth drawn to a flame

at the end of the day

*Sebastian*

My head jerked up immediately when the doctor entered the hallway. I felt sick when I saw the look on his face. Mick started shaking so violently I was afraid he was about to collapse.

"We have her stable. She's out of danger," the doctor said.

Mick immediately jumped to his feet, Charles let out a relieved sob, and me?

I just sat there, glad she was okay. Even if it meant I would still lose her in another way.

I had promised Charles and I meant it. I meant it that she would decide what happened now. And if she wanted Charles, then I would back off. At least on that level. I would remain her friend, always, but I would leave her to Charles if that was what she wanted.

It hurt, but I didn't want to stand in the way of her happiness any longer.

Of course I had plans with her and I would want to continue to make them with her, but I would never again tell her that she belonged to me.

I would never again tell her that I loved her, even if I did.

I would never get too close to her again.

I had promised Charles, and I would keep it.

"Can we go see her?" asked Carlos, the first to recover his voice.

"She's still a little dazed, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. She's had a rough day, so I'm sure it'll do her good to see some familiar faces.", he nodded towards the hallway and told us her room number.

Mick was the first to run. Carlos and Charles followed him, but I stopped. I didn't know if I was ready to let them go yet.

"Hey, I'm sure she wants to see you.", Charles had turned around and was now standing in front of me "You are very important to her.".

"I know.", I whispered, lowering my gaze as tears welled up in my eyes again.

I was immensely relieved that she was okay. But this was still an ending.

Charles put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me for a long time. I knew he wanted to say something, but ultimately didn't.

"Are you coming now?", Carlos had also come back.

We both nodded and then followed him. I let Charles go first.

Luisa was lying in her bed, Mick was already sitting next to her talking while she, still completely dazed was hooked up to some machines.

Her breathing was quiet and slow, but as soon as she saw us, a smile slipped across her lips. She was tired, it was obvious, yet she smiled.

"Shit, you scared me so much.", Charles laughed and walked over to her.

"Sorry." she whispered.

Her voice was still shaking.

"I really thought I would have to celebrate the championship alone," now his laugh sounded bitter.

He pulled the chair a little closer to her bed "Do you mean if I ask Fred you want to be my race engineer again?" he asked uncertainly.

"Let's talk about it when I'm off the painkillers, ok?" she tried to smile, but I could see how infinitely difficult it was for her.

"Sure.", Charles nodded and tensed, letting himself tilt back a little in his chair.

I sat down at the foot of the bed and just looked at her until her eyes met mine.

There was something in that that I couldn't quite grasp right now. But there was something in that look. Something new.

"Has Pablo actually been found yet?" she asked, earning only confused looks.