Like a moth drawn to a flame

first race

*Charles*

My gaze went to the command post. I searched for Luisa with my gaze and waited for her to notice my look. But she seemed to be completely in thought. Her gaze was on Seb.

Something was strange between the two of them. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was yet, but there was certainly more to it than just the fact that Seb was practically part of their family. There just had to be more. I simply couldn't explain Seb's strange look yesterday any other way, when I had appeared in his office with Luisa to discuss the statics for today.

I had been almost sure that I had been annoying for him. And Seb had never given me that feeling before. I literally worshipped him. He was my big hero, one of my big role models, and I had been so happy that he had come back to the team. But something was wrong. He looked at me very differently, talked to me very differently than before and I knew that it could only be because of Luisa. That had shown me clearly last night.

But what it was, I did not know.

But I saw her look and maybe I interpreted too much into it, but I saw longing. She would have liked to get up and go to him, but something prevented her.

Then his gaze met hers. For a brief moment his features softened, then he averted his eyes.

What was it?

I could see pain in her gaze, then she turned to the command post.

"Charly? We're pushing you out now, get ready," I heard her voice over the pit radio.

She sounded cheerful.

Was she really that good an actress or had I just read too much into the looks?

"All right, I'm ready," I replied, then the usual takeoff procedure started and I was on my own.

I liked being the one in control. At least over this aspect of my life, no one could take control away from me. When I was driving, I was in the driver's seat. No matter how many setbacks life had in store for me. I could always count on being able to do this.

I was completely calm, while around me was the usual chaos before a launch. Many people were still running across the Starting Grid now, but they would be gone in a moment. Then we would do the formation lap and then it would be into the race.

I was so incredibly eager to make it this season. Not that I wasn't before, but especially after last season, which had been so painful, I wanted to prove it to everyone now. I wanted to win. At any price.

My head was empty when I saw the checkered checkered flag. Next to me, Max tried to push past once again, but I didn't let him. I crossed the finish line first.

"Charles! That was incredible. You won!", I heard Luisa and grinned widely.

"Grazie!", I replied and took a deep breath "That was a good start to the season. I'll see you on the podium in a bit.".

I steered my car around the track and waved to the fans. This is how I had envisioned the start. This is how it was supposed to be!

When I arrived at the podium, the crew was already waiting for me. I couldn't get out of my car fast enough to jump into their arms. I enjoyed this moment, the cheering, the hands slapping me on the back. It was a great feeling. With the biggest grin I walked over to Fred and Seb who were also congratulating me, but I only half noticed their words.

My gaze slid searchingly through the people.

"Where's Luisa?", I interrupted Seb.

My heart suddenly beat uncomfortably fast. Already almost spasmodically. I felt that I was getting worse at breathing.
"There was an incident with one of the mechanics. She's sorting it out now, but I'm sure she'll be here soon," Fred replied very matter-of-factly.

Maybe a little too matter-of-fact. My stomach tightened.

"Is everyone okay?"

"Yes.", Seb now replied "You need to go to the weigh in now, Charles. I will escort you to the podium in a moment."

"But...", I was gently pushed by them towards the stewards.

Why did this victory suddenly feel only half as good?

I was standing at the top of the podium. Max in second, George in third and Seb was there from the team. I closed my eyes during the Monaco anthem and listened with a certain pride. It felt good to be standing here.

Then the Italian anthem started and I opened my eyes again. Many of my mechanics were singing along at the top of their lungs. I could see that Luisa finally arrived. She stood by Fred, obviously reporting to him. Her gaze slid up briefly and when she noticed me looking at her, she gave a quick wave.

Even at a distance, I could see that she was tense. Still, my heart fluttered. I really did like her. Much more than was perhaps good for me.

I waved back at her, wishing she had been up here with me. I wanted to share this with her. She had never been up here before. Somehow, other people had always accompanied me. But never her.

I took my eyes off her as I received my trophy, then there was the champagne shower and the interviews before I finally had to get down to more interviews.

Carlos was already waiting for me and gave me a quick hug. He grinned broadly.

"That was a strong race, hermano. You really made the rest of us look old."

"Thanks. I did my best.", he put his arm over my shoulder.

"Your best? Max is going to have to really dig in if he wants to get past you this year."

"Ej! It was only the first race. Don't freak out.", Max laughed and caught up with us "It was a good race, but only the first. Your set-up and tactics made a lot of difference today. Seb seems to be doing well for the team. In combination with the little Schumacher virtually unbeatable."

"You forget she's older than us."

"And smaller." grinned Max, poking me in the side "But seriously. With those two by your side, I'm going to have to try really hard." he smirked, then pushed me in the direction of the interviews.

When you had won, interviews weren't so bad. I had gotten so used to interviews last season where people felt sorry for me or asked me questions about how things were going, that now I was really pleased about the congratulations. It did me good. A bit like balm for the soul.

I enjoyed this moment and hoped I would get this more often this season.

A little exhausted, but in a good mood, I made my way back to our box. Carlos walked beside me, humming to himself.

The air was still warm here in Bahrain.

I could already see our pit. The mechanics were already all standing together, greeting us with applause. God, I wanted this title so badly for this team. I wanted this title for me. For the team. For the mechanics. They worked their asses off every day here and I was the only one who could do something about it. Carlos, of course, too, but it was up to us alone once we got on the track. Then our mechanics couldn't do much. Of course the pit stops were important and they had cost us a lot last year, but they had trained a lot during the winter break and I knew it would be better this year. They would give it their all.

And Carlos and I had to, too.

"Hey, where are Fred, Seb, Matteo and Luisa?", Carlos scanned the garage and then looked at me.
"They're in the office." grumbled Claudio "I don't think we should wait for them. Had an incident today. Unpleasant thing for them to take care of."

"What happened?" asked Carlos.

"Well, one of your mechanics behaved pretty badly. He accused Luisa of only being on the team because... Because she slept it off. You know. Because Charles has been seen going to her hotel room a few times now, and because there are rumors that she had something with Seb while he was at Ferrari. It's really boiled up. That kind of thing just doesn't work at all. She's doing a good job here. It's possible that Pablo will be fired for this.".

I stood there a little rooted to the spot. Then that was probably what was going on between the two of them. I didn't know if I liked it. And I didn't know if I would sleep at her bed again tonight.