Like a moth drawn to a flame

Then let's find out

*Luisa*

I sat in Sebastian's office, completely exhausted. He sat across from me and was silent. He had leaned back in his chair, eyes closed, trying to lower his pulse with deep breaths. I had seen him do this a thousand times. He'd done it before races.

I just sat there, completely fatigued, shaking all over.

"You should go to the hotel and get some sleep. We're already packing up tomorrow and flying on to Saudi. You're going to need the rest." he grumbled, not opening his eyes.

I didn't move. I just sat there waiting for him to look at me.

I waited for him to say something about what had just happened. About what Pablo had said, about the rumors he had stirred up.

There had been people who had suspected that there was more between Seb and me. And we had always felt so safe. We thought we could keep it a secret so well that no one would find out until we were ready to make it public. That we would never make it public, we had not known then. But it seemed we had not been good enough at hiding it.

"Did you hear me?" he opened his eyes and looked at me.

I didn't say anything. I just returned his gaze.

"Luisa, you really should go to the hotel.", he pushed himself up from his chair "You need sleep, darling.", he came around the table and sat on it.

"Seb, what if everything comes up now? What if everything gets stirred up?"

"What would be so bad about it? We should have never hidden it in the first place. It was stupid. There was no reason for it. I wouldn't hide it again. Why would I? I'm not ashamed that we were together. I don't regret it."

"I don't either, but..."

"But?"

"It's going to change so much. I've never talked to anyone about it. Not even with my family. And it's going to change how people see us. See us when we work together. Even if we just talk to each other. It's going to change how Charles sees us."

"That's where the problem lies, huh?"

"Yes! Of course that's where the problem lies! I like Charles. A lot, actually, and I don't want him to feel like there's anything else going on between us. I don't know where this thing with Charles is taking me, but I don't want what we had to get in the way of that! This thing between us is long over and..."

"Is that so? And then why were you just with me a few days ago, literally begging me to sleep with you? If it's been over for so long, why didn't you go to him?"

"Because... Because...", I swallowed.

I didn't have an answer to the question. I didn't know why I just couldn't let Seb go. Why I had gone back to him. I didn't know.

"Do you want me to tell you why? Do you want me to tell you why you came back? Why you didn't go to him? Because you love me. Shit, can't you see that? It may be that you like him and maybe he's making you happy right now. But that will never be all. You'll always want to come back to us. And you'll always come back to me. Maybe he's better for you. Maybe he makes you happy now. But what we had..." he shook his head.

"Seb, I don't want to have this conversation over and over again. I did love you. But I don't anymore. Not like I did then. I care about you. You always will be important to me, but...", he took a big step towards me, grabbed my chin and pulled my face up.

I felt him kiss me and without thinking about it, I returned the kiss. He pulled me to my feet and to him.

"You love me and you know it." he growled as he broke the kiss "You know it.".