Curse of Ravens // Mikaelson

38 Sit With You in the Dark

To say the streets ran with blood in the coming days between Christmas and New Years was understating it. Any vampire who had involvement with Onyx was at my mercy. It was open season, and I was going hunting. If the gods did exist, they stood behind me as I mourned. Marcellus attempted to placate me, insisting this was revenge. I told him what Elijah had told me; there's justice in revenge.

By the time the new year rolled around, any Onyx conspirator in New Orleans was dead. In addition to that, the organization disappeared underground once again all over the world. I suspected it wouldn't be the last time I was involved with the vampire clan. Although Aurora was dead, they would find a new leader. A new leader with new motives, and more resources at their disposal than ever. Onyx had dared to face the Mikaelsons, and they lost. This defeat was not a conquest, but a mere bruise to their ego.

There was time to figure out a more permanent solution to the problem. For now, everyone was satisfied that they were out of New Orleans. Peace was once more in sight. After new years, Davina and Kol left the city. Marcel returned to New York.

The Yule celebrations felt like a year ago, when it had only been a week. The day after New Years, Hope and I returned to Mystic Falls with my mother's body. Alaric had made all the arrangements for a proper funeral. Everyone would be there, all the students from the school and all of her friends in Mystic Falls. Even Elena was coming home to mourn.

I wouldn't be.

Once I touched down in Virginia, I made my station permanent at the Mikaelson mansion. The way I saw it, there wasn't any point in returning to the boarding school when I never had any interest in going anyway. The only reason I was there now lay dead in a box. Still, my presence in Mystic Falls was necessary because my betrothed was there. Not to mention the fact the eclipse was just around the corner.

Mourning could wait.

On the long ride home from New Orleans, Hope had tried to talk to me about Caroline. She tried to console me, assuming I was wracked with grief. Regardless of what I was feeling, the coddling affect of my family was suffocating me.

"You can talk to me, you know." Hope had said, softly like I was a rabid animal and needed to be approached like I would lash out. "You don't have to pretend to be strong."

"I'm not pretending." I had responded. "This was likely to happen, sooner or later. May as well get it over with." My words seemed to trigger her. Hope visibly flinched.

"What are you talking about?" She retorted, tone not as gentle as before. I looked out the window as the fields passed us by.

"Caroline Forbes." I tasted her name on my tongue like it might've been the last time I spoke it aloud. "She married Niklaus Mikaelson. It's a shock she lived this long, to be honest."

Hope refused to bring it up to me again after that, obviously perplexed by my numbness to it all. I overheard her conversation with Alaric about how I was responding to this. He had said Everyone responds to grief differently. Elizabeth and Josette cried, and even though Lizzie hasn't blown up yet about it, it was a matter of time before she blamed me for this.

I knew it wasn't my fault. Because even if I hadn't threatened Aurora or hunted Onyx, Caroline wouldn't have lived for a thousand years. There was truth to the words I told Hope in that car ride. Most people didn't like hard truths because it made them uncomfortable. Death was a part of this life. And even if I felt like I could curl up on my bed and cry for a year, that wouldn't do anything.

What was it Nietzche said, Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed.

Perhaps I should've expressed my emotions more externally. From an outsider's perspective I probably seemed like a sociopath, missing my mother's own funeral. At least I was still physically present. My father's idea of mourning is fleeing America immediately. If I was honest with myself, I might've gone with him if I wasn't so determined to complete this ritual for Hope.