His last thought

21| the truth

When Caleb walks back in, he gives us both a weird look.

"Is that chick fil a?" He asks.

"Ash got you a sandwich?" I tell him. He grabs a sandwich out of the bag before getting a beanie out of his suitcase and siting back down on the bed.

"What did they say?" Ashley asks.

"They just took it, I don't know."

"You know our moms are spending all their time together." I say; changing the topic. "Mine is like your therapist."

"She needs someone that knows about it to talk to about the fact that her kid is dying." Caleb says.

The room goes quiet for a few moments.

"You're not-"

"Look at me." Caleb says and looks me dead in the eyes. "I've had seven surgeries for this alone. They can't do anything else."

"You don't know that." I tell him calmly.

"IM DYING." He yells and my heart rate picks up. "Leave it be."

I stand back up and walk out of the room. I walk out to the car with Ashley behind me. When we get to the car we sit there for a while in silence.

"You okay?" She asks.

"I'm just going to let him cool off." I say and start driving away. I drop her off before driving back home.

"You're home early." My mom says as I walk in.

"Yeah." I say and sit next to her on the couch. "He thinks he's dying."

" I mean, he's not really getting better right now."

"What?"

"We don't know a lot right now. Kate left to go look at a CT that they just took." She says and puts a hand on my shoulder. "How do you feel about all this?"

"I don't want to care as much as I do." I tell her. "He's one of my best friends, but why can't I just let him go like I did Nolan?"

"You did not just let Nolan go." My mom says and smiles. "You cried for a week when he moved. Maybe that's just what you need; But Caleb is a whole different story. You're losing him in a different way, and it's okay to be upset about it."

I don't say anything and walk up to my room. I lay in my bed and end up falling asleep for a few hours. I suddenly wake up to my phone ringing.

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind coming back to the hospital tonight?" It was Kate.

"How come?"

"Please? It doesn't have to be for long; we just want to talk with you." She asks.

"Is everything okay?"

There was silence.

"Please come back down." Kate says and hangs up. I quickly run downstairs and see my mom cooking something. I try to quickly get my shoes on but I couldn't get them untied.

"What are you doing?" My mom asks.

"Can you drive me to the hospital? Please?" I ask as I get my shoe on.

"Yeah." She says confused. We both get to the car and I'm bitting my nails the whole way there. "What did Kate tell you?"

"She just asked me to go back to the hospital. I asked if Caleb was okay and she didn't respond."  

The rest of the ride there we were both silent. When we get there we see Kate walk in his room. The door shuts and it was locked from the inside. I push my ear to the door to hear what was going on. 

"I'm so sorry. We can try our best to remove the whole thing, but it's really risky. 20-30% success rate. We will have it tomorrow, and If we do get it out, we can assure another year at least. It's reached the blood stream too, so we'll try chemo again for leukemia." I hear Dr. Lynn say.

"What if you don't do anything?" I hear Caleb choke out. "Just let me die? How much longer do you think?"

"Two to tree weeks, possibly. If we keep you doing chemo without the surgery then-"

"Just take me home." Caleb says with a heavy sigh. "No surgery or anything."

"Caleb, we will try our best to get this out-"

"There's a 80% chance I die, either way I still have cancer! Let me live two more fucking weeks!" He yells. It goes silent until the door opens and I almost fall into the room but I catch myself. Everyone in the rooms eyes go on me and I freeze.

"I, um." I say before turning away and sprinting down the hall. I could hear a pair of feet behind me but I don't stop until we get to an empty corner. My mom comes up from behind me and hugs me before I fall to the floor.

The room was spinning and I couldn't think straight. I could feel tears falling down my face and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. My head starts to hurt and I try to stop crying but more tears start falling. My mom sits in front of me and pulls me close to her chest. I wrap my arms around her neck and start crying into her shoulder.

We sit there for a while as I cry and she keeps rubbing my back.