Conquered

Chapter 31 - Upset of the balance

NOT EDITED

Chapter 31 - Upset of the balance

Alexis
"Chad?" I called for my mate before I even opened my eyes. It was so natural to me now; having him near.

"I'm here."

"Did I fall asleep again?" He nodded. He looked troubled. "What is it?" He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Your hair is white."

"I know. I figured it would be."

"You're not freaked out?"

"No. I'm over it."

"Your eyes are different, too." He was talking about other things to avoid talking about what he really wanted to.

"Describe them to me."

"They haven't changed that much. There is now a ring of gray around your pupils." That isn't so bad then.

"Is it weird?"

"No." He kissed my forehead. "Chad, what's wrong?" He shook his head from side to side. "Tell me." I brought my palm up to rest against his cheek. "You promised to not keep anything from me no matter what." He closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again I could see his struggle.

"I love you." His fingers stroked my cheek gently. I knew how Chad felt about me. I've never needed to hear the words from him.

"I love you, too." That is the absolute truth.

"I love you and I don't want to hurt you." He pulled his hand away.

"I know. You'd never hurt me, not intentionally anyway."

"But right now I want to cut you. I want to slice your flesh open and cause you pain." That got my attention. I jerked upright and scooted closer to him. Chad had gone back to that dark place. It was a dark place I knew as there, but a place I hadn't seen since we first met.

"You want to cut me."

"Yes."

"You want to make me feel pain."

"Yes."

"Because you're feeling pain." He paused but eventually answered.

"Yes."

"Okay." His eyes widened.

"Alexis, no. I can't." I started removing my clothes. He looked frightened.

"You came to me because you didn't want to go to another. That means a lot. I'd rather you do it to me than someone else. We'll only make it if we share everything with each other." I stood there naked, waiting for him to make a move. He eventually did. The pain I felt each time that blade sliced across my skin was nothing compared to what I know he must be feeling by actually doing it. He started at my breasts and worked his way down to my thighs. I never let them heal. Each cut he made is a representation of what he's feeling inside. I let him use my body to let it out.

When he'd had enough he stood back and just looked at me, not knowing what to say or what to do. Instinctively my wounds started healing and the scars started to disappear. Chad let out the breath he'd been holding. I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "We promised to share everything. That means I share your pain, too." I pulled away so I could look at him. "Always." His lips found mine and I welcomed the tender kiss he gave me. It was his way of asking for forgiveness. But he didn't need to. He hadn't done anything that required forgiveness. But I understood. He's my mate. I'll always understand him, even when others don't.