Our Love

Quinn

"I can't believe you kissed Grant! You slept in bed with him! Did you two fuck? Tell me you didn't fuck." Carrie babbled as we waited in the drive-thru line at Starbucks.

"Are you sure you need a coffee?"

Carrie grunted at me as we reached our turn at the window; she handed off her card and then turned her attention back toward me.

"Well?"

"Yes, I kissed him. We slept in the bed together, literally slept, that's it. You're making a bigger deal out of this than it really is." I took my coffee from her as we began our ride back to the house.

"What about Wade?"

"What about him?" "You know that he's into you, and I thought you were into him." I followed her into the house as she opened the hardwood door. "Did that ship sail?"

"No. Not at all. No ships have sailed anywhere. You're really making it into so much more than it really is." I curled up in the corner of the sofa, grabbing one of the throw blankets down over me as I sipped my caramel concoction.

Carrie sat at the other end, mumbling something I couldn't quite make out. "What did you think about that sharing the girl stuff?" She raised a brow as she watched me over her coffee cup.

I nearly choked on my coffee when she asked; I had pushed that to the back of my mind. At first, I thought they were just joking around, but seeing Wade's reaction, I knew there had to be some truth. I'd never met anyone who was in a poly relationship, I'd only ever read about them in my favorite books.

"I...I don't know. It doesn't bother me if that's what you want to know." I closed my eyes, leaning my head back. "I like Wade; I was instantly attracted to him, and then getting to know him, I'd like to explore that. He's so hesitant, though. Grant is different. I've admired his physical appearance and I like him, but I didn't feel that sexual chemistry until last night, and now..."

"Now you can't stop thinking about him." The bitch had the nerve to smirk. "You've got yourself in a little love triangle!!"

"I went from one horrible man to having to choose between two amazing men." I snorted.

"Or you can have both." She smiled wide. "Seriously though, I think Wade is just cautious. His last relationship was a disaster, and he's trying to be gentle with you. He's definitely interested in you; he's told me as much."

"I don't want someone to be cautious!" Sitting up, and putting the coffee on the table, I turned to face Carrie. "I lived a cautious, scared life for so long. I'm finally free, Carrie. I was running, terrified to relax to live and now, that asshole is locked away and not going anywhere. I want to be pursued; I want someone to want me to want to cherish me, to love me, to worship me." Tears streamed down my cheeks as I confessed my innermost thoughts out loud. "I'm not a victim; I fucking fought like hell. No one needs to be cautious with me or gentle with me. It's my time, my turn, and ... fuck it!" I jumped up, grabbing my bag and my phone. Before Carrie or even I could fully process everything, I was hitting Grant's contact information.

"Miss me already?" He laughed.

"I want to go on a date. With you. Pick me up at seven." The words just fell out of my mouth as Carrie sat with hers wide open in shock. My confidence waned a little as he sat quietly on the other end. "If you want to, of course." I eased myself back onto the sofa, quietly uttering the words.

"I'll see you at seven." His voice was less playful but sexier when he responded. I laid the phone next to me, stared at it, surprised with myself.

"Wow. Just, wow."

"You know what?! I'm not done! I don't know what was in that coffee but damn! I'm ready to live." With the smile taking over my face, and the energy coursing through my body; I was on a roll and not about to stop.

"Hi," Wade answered.

"I want to go on a date with you tomorrow. Tonight, I'm going on a date with Grant. Tomorrow night, I want to go on a date with you. Can we do that?" I could hear Carrie choking behind me as I faced away from her. I was shocked the hell out of myself so I knew she had to be mind blown as well.

"A date? Of course. I've wanted to.."

"Is it okay that I go with Grant tonight? Will that be a problem?" I paced the room, waiting for his response.

"Yes. You're an adult; you can date whomever you want. We're just dating, right?" His voice was hopeful and promising.

"Tomorrow night, then, pick me up at seven." I just went with the same plan as Grant.

"Sounds great."

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow, Wade."

"I'm looking forward to it." He paused. "Quinn... have fun with Grant, but not too much fun." He let out a small laugh before we ended the call.

I turned to the sound of Carrie slowly clapping and standing. The look on her face was priceless. I was still riding the adrenaline rush of just going for it, but that quickly faded as I was overcome with anxiety and worry. What did I just get myself into?

"Take what you want, girl!" She laughed. "Now.. what's the plan from here?"

"I have no plan. That was all just a crazy, crazy whim. I'm going to make such a mess of everything, aren't I?" I look over at Carrie, feeling the fear gripping me.

"Nope. Don't. All that before, that was so fucking badass. You're a woman who is taking charge of her life. If you're interested in both of them, and I mean who wouldn't be? Besides me, of course. Then go for it!! Have fun! You're all adults, consenting adults."She wrapped me in a hug, squeezing and giggling like a teenager. We parted and returned to our spots on the sofa. I started to pull the blanket toward me again when I jumped up.

"This was... you were... oh my God! You were doing dirty things on this couch with Natalia last night, and now I'm sitting here!!"

Carrie and I both fell out into a fit of laughter. I could say I'd never felt so happy, anxious, and ready for life before. It was a damn good feeling, and I was so thankful.

"I guess we can both thank Natalia for last night."